Why am I like this?
Why was I born like this?
Late for understanding
Late for being human
Life keeping me back
While others move forward
My mind tries to think
My mind tries to learn
My mind is different
My mind was cursed
My mind will never run fast enough
My mind will always be the slowest
People say, "You're amazing"
"You're unique"
You're special
Brave
Strong
Creative
But are you though?
If I am, why am I slow?
Why does my brain trip, fall, and watch the others keep going?
Why was I born like this?

I want to do something
So incredibly stupid
Just to see
What happens
To see
What it feels like

But the consequences
Of my stupidity
Are such that
I could never dare
To face
To give in

But how wonderful
It would feel
If I could just
Let myself
Do something
Something stupid

I hear people
Speak of such things
Such feelings
Such thrill
Something utterly
Useless
Empty
Stupid
But that makes
You feel
Euphoric

Something that
Provides escape
From the harshness
Of reality
Something that
Floods the
Mind and
Body
With bliss
Euphoric

But I
I have so many rules
So many regulations
Expectations
That I am not allowed
Something so
Ridiculous
Tantalizing
Intoxicating
Euphoric

So instead,
I pretend
I write
I read
Reaching for that
Which I am
Not allowed
My ever-elusive
Euphoria

Hey, it was good to hear from you again
And I'm sorry I didn't say stay as my friend
And sorry that I didn't want to be holding your hand,

You need to let go
And yes I know
"I'll stay till my last breathe,
Even it's your death first".

Sorry to you and to us.
But this is a final goodbye to this,
So here have one last kiss.
Mwah

Such beauty,
But empty...
Such pity,
Little missy.

A fake diamond.
So pretty...
So shiny!
But all synthetic...

Girl I know I’m not the only one you see
And I don’t care
Cause I do the same
I’ll let you close your eyes and
Through me you can make love to him
I can blow the candles out and
Turn up your favorite song
Because I don’t wanna see or hear the
Dying beating of your heart

Now tell me baby...

Do you want it darker still?