All the passion banked up in my larger than life soul
It would have been shared with you
You would have been the focus of my twinkling lit eyes
The attention of my love starved lips and hands
You would have had the largest space in my heart all to yourself (and I'll never tell you this but there is no would, you do)
But you're fading, that space is shrinking
But
It's in this moment that I've got hindsight tinged vision
And I know, I was the most beautiful thing you ever had
One day you'll know too

the most heartbreaking thing of all is that I watched myself fall apart

I looked in the mirror and slowly didn't recognize this sad girl
I couldn't find myself
the monsters in my head kidnapped me
I wanted you to save me
so bad

but I felt you forgetting me
forgetting us
so I stayed kidnapped
and slept

you got mad
because I needed to get out of bed
but when I would say, "I can't"
why didn't you understand the cry for help?

even though the pain is in my head
doesn't mean it isn't real to me

I see you smiling and singing
when I always wanted you to sing to me

and by the time I woke up from the long night of fighting demons
you had already left
your body remained
so you thought with it

I felt like a *****
my boyfriend had his fingers in me and around my neck
while I held my head in my hands pleading for the bad thoughts to go away
you would hit your head too
as if it felt like it was poisoning your life

you made me feel like I was crazy
and I think I might be

this is what I've been so afraid of
the monsters in my head that kidnapped me

were me

Just feel like driving,
Clearing my head,
I look back in our past,
and I just see our smiles and laughs,
So many memories.
I can't forget.
But you and me baby,
We're gone and past..

I don't wanna go back and see our past,
I'm so tired of crying as I lay down on the floor,
You broke my heart babe,
and I gave back yours,
Too bad,
So sad,
Is all my mom can tell me anymore.

I keep waiting,
For you to say you're sorry,
and that you'd like to see me,
but you're not gonna do that, are you?
And even though I'm crying it seems I keep denying,
That anything ever happend,
because,

I don't wanna go back and see our past,
I'm so tired of crying as I lay down on the floor,
You broke my heart babe,
and I gave back yours,
Too bad,
So sad,
Is all my mom can tell me anymore.