Will you hold me?
Tell me you'll never leave
That will be forever?
That stay strong is our 'okay'?
Tell me....

Tell me you'll only love me and no one else.
Please.
Please don't make this hard for me because I depend on you.
I depend on everything you say and it seems like you hate me for loving you.
You hate the though of loving me
You'd never touch me
I'm poisonous to you and it kills me that you don't want me.
Literally.
Self harm was never my thing but you made me drag the razor along my veins and cry out in pain as the blood dripped onto your white T-shirt.
It still smells like you.
You took a piece away from me and even you didn't say you loved me but I know you felt for me
you felt
But i dont understand
I don't understand why you stopped feeling for me.
And you never tell me.
*Why?

Suicide...
Only the strongest and the most beautiful do it.
Their are ways around it.
Yet everyone around us don't see what is happening.
Everything that may seem it is turning against you it might be for the worse or the better.
The most precious in our lives can be the worst in discretion.
Those we see everyday may think that you are "okay" but really your not..
They think that your just tired.. but in reality your not fine at all.
Speak what you are thinking. Say what you want to see. Do what you must to be heard and show them that you are not okay.

It was a waste of time,
so I stopped doing it.
Now I can't do it at all,
no matter how much
I feel like I should.
I stopped,
and now I can't.
Plain and simple
as pain itself.

Yesterday my childhood came.
Playing and jumping around.
Unburdened, without any aim.
I kept on looking, spellbound.

With half eaten oblong eclair.
He ran after the goats herd.
Stopped to look at the hare.
And scared the tiny blue bird.

He moved slily to catch butterflies.
And plucked flowers from a tree.
I kept looking with yearning eyes.
Baffled, surprised he looked at me.

He ran towards the narrow ravine.
And disappeared into bushes green.

I stopped breathing two years ago
I don't know if it was because of him or not
Maybe it was coincidence
But I was choking, sputtering for fourteen years of my life
Gasping for just one
And now for two years
I have stopped breathing altogether

My lungs are tared black
But I don't smoke
My skin is charred and burnt with open sores
Yet I freeze more with each passing second

I feel like I'm inside a trash bag
Or I am a trash bag
Certainly though I'm trash
I'm a corpse in a body bag
Soon

Falling.
Falling.
Fallen.
Rejected by his own mind,
Cast down to a lower plane,
All ties severed with hope,
All memories wiped of love,
All knowledge removed of freedom,
All hints unsaid of safety,
He falls, further, faster,
Wings broken,
Lungs crushed,
Heart stopped,
Eyes closed,
But just caught,
As he bursts through empty skies into her arms.

My throat hasn't stopped burning since the day you left.
I kept screaming out, asking no one but myself
Why did you lie to me?

My eyes haven't stopped streaming since the second you walked away.
Even when I'm smiling and laughing, it takes all of my will
to stop myself from sobbing so hard my face begins to ache.

The pain hasn't ceased since you abandoned me after all that time.
After telling me you loved me and then taking it back,
even before you stopped wanting me entirely.

None of these things have stopped since you disappeared from my life.
But the one thing that stopped the moment you said the words
We're done.
Is my heart.



                                                                                                                    (w.n.)