The somber whispers of defeat haunt the wind; my skin reels at its chilling touch

Harmony concedes to an epithet of solemn solitude; it creeps within my very bones

Anguish is me. Suffering is my blood. Pain is my heart. Despair is my brain. Numb is my touch. Gone is my soul. All I see is meaningless. All I know is nothing. My thoughts are like clouds showering acid, filling the growing rivers of depression. Sprouting more and more trees of anxiety. Sending bile snowballs cascading down mountains of doubt. Confusion festering, enough to black out the sun of belief. Traumatic obsession blinding my reason. Uncertainty fueling my unrealistically present pulse. The Reaper is hiding just out sight. A carrior-eater perched upon my brow. Grief and misery controlling my destiny. No distraction will conquor this day. Nor the days to come. I will function - but only enough to exist. My purpose is naught. My intentions selfish. Empathy was not made for me. I am in a world with no one else, yet they can see me. This world is quiet. This world is somber and yet more inviting. I've shattered the looking glass.

So don't come looking.

As the new year comes
Maybe today I'll end the pain
Maybe today I'll fade away
Maybe today I won't wake up
Maybe today I won't be unhappy
Maybe today I'll allow my sun to set
Maybe today I'll become nothing
Maybe today I'll disappear
Like the stars in the dawn

I am passed by
Looked through
Ignored
I am invisible
I am a ghost in this world
My wish is to be seen
To have someone notice me
To not be alone in this world
But alas I am unseen
and will be until the end of my days

Here I stand
Upon the precipice of something
In a dream I see it
the cold and unending
the void
gray and bleak
A voice tells me
No man should be here
That there are no stars
For there is no sky
I find solace in this place
There is no life
No death
only being
as time has no meaning here
I close my eyes
and the silence envelopes me
Like when snow blankets the ground
And muffles the sound of life
Here I'll stay
Till I fade away

Blank faces walk past me
A visual elegy
In the morning past the city streets
Yet everyone persists so dimly
The overcast retracts the colour from my sight
As if it is midnight
And traces, shapes of phases
My shoelaces untangle themselves and I fall
Flat

The phasing interrupts my morning stroll
Predators on the prowl
Clad in amber
Stalking through the morning night mass
Hearts locked, empty locket
Deafening the peace in its trail
Chasing my tail and once I'm had
It detains me, immobilises me, I am
Caught

The city of black and white
Has no time for shades of grey
And yet the vivid colours bond
But yet I tripped
And in the black and white streets
I was trapped in technicolor

As I strolled through a foggy autumn evening
In the twilight when dusk has set
Auburn leaves filled my dreams like clouds in the sky

Through the wind speckles of water dwindled in the air
As faded light pierced the somber veil
Headlight by headlight passing by

Tiny beads of water accumulate on the surface
Like pearls they glisten in moonlight
And ever so pristine, reflective like mirrors
I found myself in a silver glow

As wisps of light sparked - a swarm of fireflies
Ever captivating - fascinating they performed
A dragon's dance along the candle light

But I walked the barren road that night
I wandered in darkness, blisters on my feet
Pelted and bruised I collapsed, huddled in madness

I slept, I wept, I woke up in an empty hallway
Darkness filled the void as I screamed but nothing replied
As I passed through the barriers of seclusion
For a single moment, I glance

Shrieking deafened my frail ears as in front of me
A horrendous creature gazed at me, grimacing wide
Its piercing gaze petrified me

To resist the blizzard chilling me to the bone
To conquer gravity taking its toll
Mirrors shatter to tiny fragments

And I saw the light

A sunflower as bright as the stars stood before me
With a mantle of pure gold it called my name
The genesis of a whole universe, I blossomed

I walked the thorny road for the ample roses
With coats so vividly coloured, dancing in the sun
I walked past the void on my bare feet

Glass shards piercing my tainted soles
As I walk through the corridor of the past
On the ground I stand I embrace the darkness
Yet I always feel the caress of the sun

The haven where fragments and shards
Once shattered form together
It is where I always wanted to be
Yes, it is where I always wanted to be