Showing him the  
            up and over
             maneuver.

He tries, succeeding.
            I'm a big boy,
                      smiling.

I love it when, i see you smiling
But i dont love it when i see you crying.

I love it when, i look into your eyes
But i dont love it when i see a tear from your eyes.

I love it when, i see that you are happy with me
But i dont love it when i see you sad without me.

I love it when, i have you in my arms
But i dont love it when i miss you in my arms

But...

I love how you make us beat our hearts at the same time.

I love her
I desire her
More than anything
I can imagine
But I am unsure

I dreamt of her
I weep for her
I struggle with myself
But I never conquered
‘cos I am unsure

And at night
I hug my pillow
In my sleep
I held her tight
But I couldn’t keep her
For I was unsure

She kept coming
She kept smiling
But never opened her hands
To give me a warm embrace
Which is all I desire
And the more I am unsure

I never told her
I love you
I’ve never held her
In my hands
But I love her
Though I am unsure

The wound remained unhealed
The vacuum remained unfilled
The tears flow unstopped
And I’m losing her
Who is the remedy
‘Cos I’m unsure

And I’m losing her
Fast than I expected
Though she still smiles
The fear increased unmeasured
She loves me
I don’t know
For I am unsure.

I'm going to bed happy
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels good.

I'm going to bed with a smile on my face
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels good.

I'm going to bed laughing
for the first time in a long time.

And it feels so good.

why must sadness always be my muse?
why can i only use words
to fill my own emptiness?
i want to write about the sunbeams that dance on my wall
about how my baby sister laughs
about the stars and my passions
i want to get so carried away in the love and beauty i know that i forget how to write and my words become nonsense and my sentences run on and on and on until they overflow
i want kindness and joy to emanate from my work
i want my cheeks to ache from smiling
instead of my eyes burning from tears
i want to change
i want to heal

One syllable,
three measly letters
And lifetimes of happiness.

The greatest smiles are come from it
The happiest tear is shed
It’s utterance can make you JUMP and LEAP and TWIRL and SPIN or...
Or burst hearts sealed in lead.

And lifetimes of happiness
Three measly letters
One syllable.
Yes.

i can't understand the tug at my lips when i see gore,
when pain happens,
when i think of a painful memory,
yet my heart still squeezes,
still wheezes,
still sputters,
still hurt,
but because i carry on while the storm that is against me,
and the only weapon i wield is my smile,
because they will never know how broken i am

[ kind of a part two ]

i laugh when my eyes rain,
when raindrops trickle down my cheek,
have you ever realized that sobbing and laughing sound so similar?
when someone laughs they can be crying in the inside,
when someone sobs they can be happy,
i think its a way of laughing off the pain,
just so you won't give in,
because then you lost,
and we don't want that.

It was my first time meeting A’s grandmother-
I brought her flowers
Laid out on A’s den floor I begun writing this poem
While A watches anime-
English subbed
We are supposed to be studying-
we did for a while but
E has been on the same page for half an hour
As C sits atop a table-
making bird noises from above
We move to the dining room
because A’s grandmother made noodles and egg rolls
E is ******* up his noodles like a vacuum
I don't blame him- they taste like Jesus
C sneezes so loud it makes everyone jump
I look around the table, thinking of the past year
And all the friends i've made
Love, Platonic love, is beautiful

In every moment, don't forget to smile.
Do pray to feel the first kiss of every breath.
And in each moment I'll return the favor.
Covering the picture of your face.
Frame to frame.
Our eyes the glass that protects each memory.
A sweet smile that becomes the entrance of life itself.
Ambitiously half lifted eyes crinkled around the corners.
In every moment, don't forget to smile
and I'll return the favor.
Life is too short to let these moments go in vain