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The start of one thing
The end of another
“Love is only a feeling,” they say
And i’m starting to believe it

Do I remember this day as the start of something good
Or do I remember it as the end of something better
No
Rather than making it about you
Or you
I’m making it about me for once

No more reminiscing on what could have been
No more sifting through different versions of the same story in my head
From now on, this will not be a day to dwell on the past, but rather to embrace the future

Love is only a feeling?
I will never believe it.
Love is a force stronger than the sun, moon, and all the stars
And one day it will come back
i step out of your car and my stomach immediately drops to the floor
like that moment on a roller coaster
we’re trying to be just friends right now
each time we’ve hung out, it reminds me why we can’t be just friends
i want more
i need more
friends don’t leave other friends with an awkward silence and a sadness that stays with them all night
i used to step out of your car feeling happy and fulfilled
but now i am longing for more
while i sit around and wait to hear from you again
because waiting is better than not having you in my life at all
hayley robertson Apr 2020
the last night we spent together
i was asleep
you had to park and walk because there were no empty spaces

the next morning i drove you to your car
and i dropped you off
and i drove back home
and i had absolutely no idea that was the last time

that was the only time that you ever had to park that far away
you always found a space up close
i never had to drive you to your car
only walk you to the door
give you a hug
and say, “See you later!”

it was weird
your car wasn’t even that far away
just in the next parking lot over
but i wish i could get those 2 minutes back
i wish there was an empty space
then maybe the distance wouldn’t manifest itself
hayley robertson Apr 2020
writing doesn’t come to me in all the most conventional moments i guess
staring at myself in the bathroom mirror
feeling thoughts approach me stronger than they have in a while

i mutter a quiet, “what is happening”
i haven’t felt this way in a while
followed by a more assured, “i need to write”
this is the only way to combat the noise

you see, for me, writing isn’t fueled by every day occurrences, or inspiration from the world around me
it’s fueled by my body being engulfed by thoughts
happiness, sadness, anger, anything really
thoughts standing in my brain, crawling into my face, jumping into my throat, heart, lungs,
until they’ve taken over

i can’t control when i write, just like i can’t control when thoughts come
why did they come today?
maybe it’s because i didn’t have someone next to me when i woke up
maybe it’s because i’m unsure of what the future holds

whatever the case might be,
i want to thank you, thoughts
thank you for giving me the power to write
and i want to thank you, self
thank you for not dismissing thoughts
hayley robertson Mar 2020
Sitting outside and the birds are singing
The leaves are dancing in the wind
The sunlight is seeping in through the gaps in the leaves and casting speckled shadows along the pavement
And I know we’re all going to be okay

Light has a new meaning to us now
What did it mean before?
Think about that.
In these dark times all we have is light
And all we can do is let the light in

Light can be whatever you want it to be
But you have to accept it
Don’t let the darkness get to you
Whatever you do, don’t let the darkness get to you

I want you to embrace the light
Let the birds sing
Dance like the leaves dance
Feel the sunlight on your skin
And take comfort in knowing that every day brings forth new light
hayley robertson Mar 2020
10:50pm
i haven’t written in two years
this one goes out to music
and the stars
because who needs a person when you’ve got all your favorite songs to sing you to sleep

10:50pm
this time last month i’d be waiting
sitting and waiting
and waiting and waiting
waiting to feel something
anything
and i’d get in my car and i’d drive
seal myself up in my own little world where i couldn’t feel anything but the bass rattling my lungs
and the stars

10:50pm
all of the stars are out
although it doesn’t seem like it here
not like at home
but i imagine them
just me and the stars
and our favorite songs
and we drive
and we sing
and it’s perfect

10:50pm
clarity
comfort
peace
hayley robertson May 2018
slowly and softly,
we drip back into our own little worlds,
composing the structure that we each need to survive,
yours being the complete opposite of mine,
but that's okay,
because a drop of wax can build a new candle,
and all that candle needs is a spark.
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