I see you're wary of my motivation for reconciliation
Maybe getting flirty with you the other day was a mistake but it was only a bit of fun. No vowel play -Don't stress it.

You're doing that thing where you're getting all weird and apologetic,
not replying for time, was a time I'd just think forget it

Cause the cryptic **** is frustrating,
but as times gone by, the emotions subside I find it a-cute-ly boring, bordering on comical.

Got me thinking dang this use to affect me like a rat invested rental - how did I let it?!  Sinking waiting for you to be blunt or upfront is like tryin to understand ****** -I'll never get it.

I know this now so don't sweat it, I expect no less, I accept it. If the convos dead it's dead, I've said it.

I merely seek to be reconciled with the situation so I can make my peace. I said my piece, put it to bed, it's dead rest in peace. Just tryin to love thy neighbourly, maybe get some more recipes: rice and peas.

Cause the most I'd hope for is friendship but I won't force it, they'll be no pleas and thank yous, it's true I missed what it used to be, I miss the person in you I used to see.

I don't know what it will be now; that times passed. I don't know who you are now; I'm not sure if I ever did but to resurrect the past is not the plan in all of this

So Let me reintroduce myself,
Hey, I'm Rhian
Let me Shake your hand
I know you hope for understanding,
I try hard to understand
But you don't always express yourself as best you can
I stress You can
Don't be afraid the clean slate
Will free your hands
Roll the dice
Tell me where it lands
If it's possible to
Reconcile as solo artists
With fond memories of our band

But if not

**Best wishes are still my command

We put gas in our tanks and pretend
all our claws are clean and pick at the bones
and the guts and we’re not satiated.

We give our souls and smiles and bodies and ****,
we’re not gifts or garbage, we’re human slot machines.

We are sterile in our thoughts,
and septic everywhere else
in a fashion that’s tasteless,
yet not obscene.

Donate clothes to the poor through
homophobic institutions because
what else can we really do?

Powerless, and yet so convinced we’re going to
fight the bureaucracy some day, and **** yeah
spell check writes half of my good **** nowadays.
I navigate online dictionaries seldom and cowardly.

Most of my writing is anti-revolutionary in the sense
that I hate what I desire intellectually and sincerely
but only because I want it so ******* bad,
and in the end I’m powerless
and empty and distant.

******* your chucks,
Go work on a swagger,
Build your castles big,
The skies have never looked better,
Aren't you infectious?
It ***** 'cause it matters
Have you affections?
You ****** where it matters..

And i twist..and i turn...
when you're all soundly asleep...
And i twist..and i turn...
For i have...

Been waiting for a letdown the size of my hope,
Been aching for that perfect antidote,
Been shutting up my thoughts 'cause i gotta stop....

Writing you a song.

I am the commotion,
That you would not care to listen,
I'm trapped inside a box labelled "Maybe"
I'm trapped inside a box labelled "Maybe"

God, i'm frying..

I rather get erections,
From staring at a walrus,
We know you've got it all now baby,
But we don't need all at all, no baby.

God, i'm frying..

I dont want simple;
Feed me yourself in silver spoonfuls.
I want simple,

Lie to me,
and tell me
I am not an Animal.

   I am an analyst-dissecting details.

4Am fresh snowfall
I will remain capable!
Make first new footprints,

in a circle...
  Till I reach the middle.

I will remain incapable of
Tying my shoes.

   I am a participant in social warfare.

Looking forward:
Possible encounters &
Spring Rain.
Fantasizing both in measure.  

All I am to you is what you see, and
What you hear,
smell,
  touch,
    taste.

All you are to me so far
Is what I see, and what I hear;
So i am looking very hard,
   And I am listening very closely.

I want logic,
Tasting honey when I ******.
I want harsh confusion,
Complete absence of logic in it's essence.
Kissing a part of you that potties.

Now,
I can remain content in chasing my tail; I sleep balled up on top of the ocean, my clothes and fur strewn;

   Chewing paws in strange positions.

I want contradiction, an
Assurance of the Devil & a
Total disregard for ghosts.

Constructive chaos:
   Dress like ghosts on Acid and
Wear rollerblades.

I want my resumé to read:
>works well with others,
>great fighter, &
>An outstanding Lay.

I want to leave behind dreams,
I want to rent a room in your
dream bed&breakfast;,
Sometimes sharing yours, but always paying rent on time for mine.

Sometimes
swinging an axe against a rough stump,
Craving lemonade and
Spring Rain.

Part of me wants to grow old and
Mad, and sit by rivers; I could smoke ****** from a wizard pipe for my
Sore joints.

( I am alright with the possible outcome of Alone. )

[ I would rip my hair out,
Glue it to my body, & become
A boy in wolf's clothing. ]

I want creative destruction,
Mayhem,
borderline Mind ****.
Learning to pick the banjo half-decently.

   That Deliverance tune.

And walk around ski towns
   Scaring the **** out of some tourists
And other antagonists.

Don't do secret admirer letters
You'll get rejected faster than a criminal applying for a job
It was a sincere deed that made me feel like I was one after I got a reaction
Some lessons hurt deep

I love you softly,
I love you wild,
I love you with the notions
Of a trusting child.

I love you sweetly,
I love you bold,
I love you as the ancient rites
Are ceaselessly told.