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Silent Sanctuary Jul 2019
Hello, my dearest one.
After a bunch of failures, I felt like writing for you today.
For a while now, I have been torn and astray.
I wonder, where are you now?
I hope you are well and cheery.
Rest assured, remember that I'll always wait for you.

If this letter arrives to you a little bit late,
Please understand that I might push you away,
Or ignore you all the same
Forgive me if I do so, I've already been hurt by cruelty of the world.
I've been starting to think that nothing will ever change,
And yet nothing will ever stay the same.

Please allow me to tell you a few things,
Don't give up on me, even if it's easier to leave than to stay.
I'll always come around, no matter how broken I seem to be.
Keep your promises no matter how small,
Because I'll always treasure them all the same.
You don't have to shower me with lavish gifts,
Your presence will always be the best present I'll ever have.

I feel like I'm asking for so much now,
And I do apologize for that.
If you've done everything I've asked you to do and nothing works,
I am afraid to say that I am already far beyond repair,
And I can no longer turn back.
Let my old self thank you for trying.
Silent Sanctuary Sep 2017
Sometimes I wonder,
Is it a mistake to be born?
To face the harsh realities
To suffer under tyranny
To feel unwanted by all
Why bother living, the point of it all?

Does anyone really matter?
If all we do is die after a while
Chained to the idiosyncratic mediocrity
Unwittingly bestowed upon us all
We cease and decease like effervescence
Do we even have meaning?

Will everything be the same in death?
Or will our consciousness cease?
I wonder if someone succumbs to it,
Will they really leave anything behind?
Will people notice their absence?
I wonder.

I wonder.  
I wonder... if I die

Will I really die at all?
I'm ready.
I hope they are too.
Suicide is not a manifestation of weakness. Help.
Silent Sanctuary Jul 2017
"Be careful", my dearest conscience once said.
Curiously, I asked her why.
But she only looked at me with those soft eyes,
And smiled kindly.

I was angered and impulsively roamed the path of danger.
I knew she was worried sick,
Yet I didn't care, and she didn't seem to mind.

I came across poison and drank from it,
And suddenly she faded away.
Long enough for me acquire any vice I desire.

Years have gone by,
I suddenly craved her worries.
But it was too late, and I was far gone

I walked back to where I last saw her.
She wasn't there.
And so I looked for her ghosts far and wide.

Until I asked myself in frustration,
"Where have you gone?"

A small voice inside me spoke up:
"I was just waiting for you to have me back"

And I wept from day and night,
Softly feeling a presence surrounding me.
It was her hands caressing my watery cheeks.
Telling me everything is going to be alright
Silent Sanctuary Feb 2017
I've tried and tried once again
To forget the past that haunted me
The ghosts that once tore my soul
And left me with nothing but emptiness

And yet here you are
Unknowingly leaving your marks - your words
Searing me with burns and pain
Bleeding and screaming in the blinding darkness
That surrounds this eternal cycle

Should I concede and accept my defeat?
Putting a mark on it for my relief?
It is not selfish, oh dear no
I'm just trying to be obedient nothing more

Never weep if I decide that I shall pass on
I'm just granting you a wish
That I've always postponed

I have reasons and doubts
You are one cruel monster
That I can't always live without

You're tired of me
And I'm tired of my life
Nothing will stop me
I already lost the fight

But I accept no defeat
And I want a ***** battle
Which I want you to suffer
Until the end of time.
Maybe this is the end of everything.
Silent Sanctuary Oct 2016
I'm running from a man
Who will catch me wherever I am.
I can hide from him but in nowhere.
And in nowhere, I am.

I have begged him dearly
To correct my wrongs.
Yet with a melancholic smile,
He can only say no.

I've loathed him then.
Calling him a foe like no other,
Cruel and unfeeling as a murderer.
But he was still the same man I knew.

As I've passed through dawns and dusks,
I finally realized that he's nothing but my dear.

For so long, I thought of him as a criminal.
Lingering around until a tick starts to fade
And snatches it away before anyone grieves.
Yet never has it been.

He's willing to fix the wrongs,
But from listening to lessons of the past.
Forgiving what was once broken
And forever shall future be mended

He gives before he can take,
In silence he bears mockery,
While he keeps composure and clockwork fine.

I salute and endear you my friend,
Forgive my cruelty for wasting my moments badly
Yet, I regret nothing but I am grateful
Thank you for my time, Time.
Silent Sanctuary Jul 2016
Adversity is one of the things we can’t escape in our lives; it is also one of the biggest hurdles that we must overcome for us to become better individuals. However, is this meant to be a negative, cynical assessment of what we must look forward to? The answer to this question is no. There are several effects that adversity can bring to our overall being, it can be either positive or negative depending on how you evaluate them in your perspective.

One of the best things about adversity is that it’s a forceful being that tears us away from our comfort zones. It is like a strong wind that brings us to the places that we want to go but with hesitance to do so, it also removes the things we have grown fond of but are holding us back from what we should be, leaving us to be in the best shape that we can ever become instead of just imagining it from afar.

Despite the best thing that we can get from adversity, it can also ******* us if we become too stuck in an unfavorable mindset wherein fear and pain comes to play. We think so much of the unknown that we forget that we have to move on, until when we do so, so much time has been wasted.

Adversity is like drowning in a river of neutrality; we drift to the currents of the same common thread and forget every bit of unique trait we have upon us, and while we face life like lost ravens drifting through the darkness, searching for traces of non-diminished skies, we find meaning in our lives as we find that small patch of white light at the end of every misery we have conquered.
Silent Sanctuary Jul 2016
As insecure toddlers, we were often told by our parents that inner beauty is more important than outer beauty. This is how they were able to instill in us the confidence we may have today, whenever we represent ourselves in front of other people. However, this is something I find to be quite inaccurate.  If you ask a random person about what they find beautiful and attractive, most of them would probably begin to describe a person’s physical attributes than the internal attributes.

Beauty is defined to be the perfect balance and harmony with nature, which may lead to feelings of attraction and emotional well-being. Since the attraction is subjective, the term “beauty is in the eye of the beholder” takes place. Many individuals would like to believe that looks are never important, and that judgments should be based on a person’s internal well-being instead of its outer counterparts.

In our modern society, external beauty is more favorable since everything becomes more convenient, than when you only have internal beauty. People will always see your external beauty the moment they see you and not that beautiful mind and soul of yours, and that’s what makes them attracted to you. Just like with expensive cars, the moment a car is put into the market, the consumer who will buy them would first look at their exterior first before they would look for its driving ability; no matter how good its performance may be, these people would always look at its exterior. Also, external beauty can help you be successful, it can land you jobs, earn more money, and help you be treated with more respect by strangers than those with internal beauty.

The preference for external beauty than internal beauty is what is wrong in our current society. We live up to the evolved norms of society that we have started to grow backwards. Outer beauty fades, and no matter how beautiful you are on the outside, once people get to know you, you’d be nothing but a simple less attractive human being than you once were. I would leave a wonderful quote here written by a great author: “A tree may look as beautiful as ever; but when you notice the insects infesting it, and the tips of the branches that are brown from disease, even the trunk seems to lose some of its magnificence.”
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