Agents of Shield is the show that really has my whole heart
I'm gonna miss them so much, can you take me back to the start?
It was a beautiful journey I went on and now its at its end.
I can't even begin to thank you for my friends.
I've made so many from this show.
I loved to watch all of us grow.
I know we'll be sad once it's over.
But happy it brought all of us closer.
I love you so much I hope you know that.
I'm gonna miss seeing the love shown here in fact.
I could go on and on about the things you did for me.
about how you made my depression leave so I could be free.
It's the simple things like a smile from my favorite person.
It really lit up my day thats for certain.
so now I say goodbye to the show that holds a special place in my heart.
Knowing I'll never truly say goodbye.... if I go from the start.

Truly I have the will inside me
To push my chest out and bare my dignity
Like a thumping paw of an elephant
The sound of who I am beats the ground
Every thump like a chanting
Every chant like a battle-cry
Break their bones if they strike you
Their throws are soft and formless
A fog that poisons
You are protected by the bear in the woods
A massive presence of teeth and claw
Bear in mind
Conquering the battle is not complete without armour and sword
Use your sword with caution
Sparing them for when the season is ripe
Struck whence the shield lowered
You seek for bleeding
You seek for victory
Joy is in the skin scarred without fright
Victory is in the timing of each strike
The sword has discipline in its swift blow
Should not have trace of megalomania
Should win every ****** in order to teach
Lessons to heed the definition of honour
Two victors will defy the battle
When one wins on honour
If the other triumphs pride

Aren’t most of us crying
At
The funerals
From our own
“Selfish” reasons?
Not from the dead one’s
Biggest treasure passing
Yet ‘cause we won’t get to feel
Them clearly
For our own needs
And desires?
Anymore?
They are most probably
Joyful,
At least peaceful,
In the new realm
Yet
We mourn
For the moments no longer
For us
To
Be.

How wondering it feels
To think
That usually we are those,
Who must and should learn
To live on and rejoice
After someone’s death
When there comes at last
The moment
When we become those,
Who leave
And are to tell others
Of
It.

Taken out of kitchen in a rush,
In the same tiny cape of black
I use when naked,
Clad,
Now standing before sudden
Church “shanties” and
Of my father’s friend no-more-together
Crowd,
I watch, cry solely
In the colours of thoughts of my eyes.

What are those measly flowers for
If they shall wither soon, Dad?
Why can’t I break now, Dad?
How much did he mean to us, Dad?
...
Dad?
...
Step blocked as such,
Adam grips calmly yet strongly
The collar of my cape
And there’s no more another place
For him
To stay,
Than the crook of my
Seventeen-year-old tanned neck.

Hold his hair, backside,
Protecting all the salty water
He has nobody yet to everyone
To offer.

Can’t move.
Don’t move.

My pen is my shield,


and my words
             my armour.

Fear's unknown to him
All wish their courage was like his

Loyal soul an' loyal heart
Being a warrior seems such an art

He yearns the glory feeling
Gettin' honor feels as good as lusting

But all he sees are ****** fields
Hearin' pain an' swords against shields

He's not scared of death
Pagan, in divine judgement, he's no faith

Crested helmet, drawn sword
"For the motherland", not another word

At the signal he'll unleash hell
After slaughterin' hostiles, he'll feel well

No one will be spared, he's merciless
But primarily, he's a fearless

Surging towards knowledge
Not its shattering
I obeyed excavated wishes.
And so you make peace with
Your fury holding
A mirror as shield.
There,
Truth or logic
Debris that remain
Or lessons never learnt:
Never to foretell
Never to tell
Never again.

Numb?
No actually better already,
Painful?
halfway, not full I suppose.
Thought I was so very aware,
Turned out, I didn't know half of the truth.

Fears chasing me, yet again.
And I try to stay in the moment,
Maybe that was the mistake,
I held on to it, with force.

I was convinced, my inner state,
Must feel all pure and harmonious,
Every time I have made it into the
Present moments.
But very possible I was wrong,
And I covered my fears with an image,
Of how I would think,
A moment in human's life should feel.

Sounds bit complicated, I know.
But I know what I talk about.
I am tired of hiding the unpleasant,
I better live with, not without it.

In fact without it, that's not possible.
At least till I have cleared it up.
It can't disappear, it's emotional,
And I used to cover it up.

It was a part of my perfect thinking,
I idealized myself,
In my view, I am a real warrior,
A hero for the weak and dead,
I put this expectation on myself,
I carried it around like a shield,
And though no arrow really got to me,
I still got traumatized, stopped to feel.
In fact behind the shield I was just hiding,
I hid my fears, my worries beneath,
I am still very sure that they're my weaknesses,
I tried to be different, and the result was this.

I truly stopped to feel real pain,
I fell to ashes and got up again,
But through the journey,
I lost who I was,
And my humanity got lost.

Now I am standing here,
My shield, still in my hand,
But I have made a hole,
To look through it instead.

I am not ready to uncover,
How damaged I am underneath,
I am not ready to discover,
My truth and my uncertainties.

I'm wounded, but I am alive.
I see it although I still hide,
Under the shield,
A perfect game,
The sun, the rain,
They're all the same,
No light comes in,
And storms stay outside,
But I am here to live,
And I have to decide,
Can I let the illusion go,
Am I ready to meet with my soul,
Am I ready to show the world,
Who I am and who I'm actually not?

Truly, I didn't even know,
I held this shield through it all,
I just saw it in my hand and realized,
I am not as much a hero, as I fantasized.

In fact I feel really hurt and blind,
For the waking up is cutting within
At the same time I realize,
It is time to let life and light in.

It is a very small, though heavy step to make.
I am still shaking insecurely, I have fears.
I need more courage now,
Than I ever had,
And I'm glad, that now I understand that.