Trying to get ahead
but I can't silence all these thoughts inside of my head.
Looking everywhere for a place to reset. Get a grip.
But my demons are screaming so loud it's like I'm on a bad trip. They say god never gives us more than we can take.
But I don't know how much longer I can hold my breath
before I find myself at the bottom of the lake.
I clutch my chest gasping for air,
and with my hand on my heart,
I pray for another day; a chance to prove I deserve a new start.
I close my eyes one last time and let myself go.
The demons leave my mind, body and soul.
I feel a rush come over and open my eyes
to realize it was all a dream; I'm still alive.
Now that I made it through, my mission is clear.
I know what to do. I now have a purpose:
use my experiences to help the broken and scarred find their faith, and help them believe loving, living, fighting is not a mistake.

I met you in this crowd.
We never said a word to each other.
But the eye contact was electric.
You never parted your lips to speak.
But your soul did.
It was calling to me.
Almost crying.
Practically screaming.
It is okay.
I can hear you loud and clear.
It is like I am one with you,
before the introduction.
It is as if something was pulling me,
letting me know that it is you.
You are the one.
Do not let them go away from your grip.
The only grip I have on you
is the way we stare into our eyes.
But which one of us will make the move first?

Lately, I've been afraid to sleep.
Every time I start to dream,
I'm greeted by a banshee scream.
I find myself running but don't seem to go anywhere.
It feels like I'm on a set of m.c. escher stairs.
Eventually, I end up stumbling and fall.
And when I look up, I see the scariest thing of all.
She showed me a vision of a wall.
Engraved in the stones were all of the words I had been dying to say.
I thought I lost them.
But there they were just a few feet away.
The banshee screamed again and the ground started to shake.
The wall started to crumble and I knew I needed to fight. There was too much at stake.
I closed my eyes and focused on trying to breathe.
Then I started to believe.
I believed in myself.
That I'd find the words again.
And just like that, when I woke up, I found them right where they should have been.
Bottom line, don't be afraid to dream. Because eventually, you will realize everything is not what it seems.

The rose has thorns because
it cares not to be touched.
Its color is a warning
for animals to stay away.
Its scent is a scream and
not a delight for us to own.
It exists in ****** stillness
bending only for the sun.
The scientist knows this
having heard its sub audible
howl with delicate machines
that probe its roots.
The poet plucks the bloom
unaware of the pain that
created that beauty,
the aroma that shouts
its death to its vegetable kind.

In the middle of the night, I toss and turn screaming out your name
Knowing that even if you take me back, things will never be the same

Today,
a cloud has weeped for me,
she poured her tears upon my
face and washed my wounds

People call the
sky’s tears as rain,
but my tears are salty
and dripping with pain