I still lay with my back pressed against the wall
A habit I learned from the two times you slept in my bed
And a habit I need to unlearn
There are moments where I am painfully aware of my existence.
Of the things around me.
I start to feel like I'm floating.
I'm suddenly very aware of the tiny screen I'm holding, how my fingers move across the keys, how small it is and how tiny I am.
sometimes i feel as though im floating in my own body, everything drowns out and I'm stuck in the limbo of unreality
its a nice place, for a while
just because you're 'over it'
doesn't mean that it hurt any less
I want to scream.
I want to pull my hair
And slam my head into the wall
And bite my lip off
But I'll cry
I'll cry so silently you wont be able to hear
Not unless you pay attention
Not unless you read between the lines
Not unless you feel the pain in every word I say or type
I want to scream
So I'll cry instead
i wrote this when i was in a dark place mentally.. id like to think im better now <3
Heres to the lovers
Heres to the ones who have never felt the same love mirrored back
Heres to the ones who love one another
Heres to the ones who have never seen themselves depicted in media
Heres to the ones who have seen themselves depicted in media, only to be killed off when the directors think that your story is over
Heres to the ones who love like no other
To the ones who love books on a rainy day, who love sipping coffee looking out a store window, who love staring up into the vast blue of an afternoon sky
Heres to the ones who love
Heres to the ones who try to love themselves
To the ones who try to love themselves because nobody will do it for them
To the ones who cradle their own face
To the ones who rub their thumb over their own cheek
Who toy with their own hair
Who hug themselves tight
Who hug pillows and blankets and walls
Who hug friends, family
Who will hug strangers
Heres to the lovers who will put the ******* spider back outside
Heres to the lovers
Lay me under the night sky and I'll make a home within the stars
I'll find solace in the faint wind-chimes echoing into oblivion
I'll make tunes from the passing cars going 25 through puddles
I'll sing to the rattling of the leaves doing somersaults in the wind
I'll dance to the howling of the wind blowing through the trees and houses
I'll look up into the endless void of the sky and close my eyes
I'll wait for the moon to call me home
I wrote this short poem at 3 am one night when I couldn't sleep. I let myself listen and feel everything going on. I let the words just flow through me. I've changed nothing about it.
— The End —