There's a mortal in the room
I’m so glad the feelings were never
know about from way back then.
If things went a different way
magine how that would have been.
There’s a reason to this
sudden awakening,
and how this new
friendship had its start.
We were always friendly
to each other,
but never fully connected at the heart.

But this magnetic pull inside our souls,
It’s what changed in us the most.
For this mortal never knew
just what he meant to me,
Only because I never wore
my heart upon my sleeve.
I look back at that mortal in the room,
The one I was afraid to get near.

Me knowing more of his heart now,
Things have become oh so clear.
This mortal shares space
inside my head,
For he’s always had a
place in my heart.
I’m happy I get to say now,
From this mortal,
my special love
I feel for him will never depart.
There’s a mortal in the room,
He’s hard to keep away from…

Leanne

There's a mortal in the room
There’s been alot of space in time
as time has been only but a thief.
The memories keep incircling my head like a flowered wreath.
Suddenly life changed in
the blink of an eye.
I still beat my self up because
I never had him  as “my guy”.
I get excited at every mention of
this mortals familiar name.
But what ****** was the feelings
he had just never were the same.

The only thing that changed now
is there is no lady on his arm.
For this mortal in the room
is like a golden charm.
This mortal in the room
lit inside me a internal flame.
The flame was hidden,
so on the outside
I appeared exactly the same.

Keeping all of these things inside
never made things very clear.
I somehow knew there was an attraction from
him any time that I was near.
But was that all I was to him now,
just an attraction that couldn’t be?
I’ve always been drawn to this mortal  
for my feeling run so free.

It’s crazy how an glance from this
mortal or even a sweet stare.
It’s like a magnetic pull to this mortal
from in somewhere in the air.
I learned things about this mortal I never ever knew of.
I felt a new feeling for this mortal,
this was a different type of love.
From this mortal in the room.


Leanne

I was sent
to a dark room
From your words.
Littered on the couch
Spilled into the air
Dark-like smells
smudging and
Textures touching
With antipathy for being futile.
       Irrelevant.
That artifact of darkness

I know the unlit
The heavy
      immovable monolith of despair.
Fence sitting for days
In Wait for a shape of
intentional light.
Incremental, as it
Fractured the silence.
That burrowed through
Despondent dirt
down Here.

I saw you flick past
a sliver of
Shiny coins
Alarmed by their details,
Lost in remnants
Of absurdity
As the cloudless score
rounded the sharp
        edges
That softened
        your eyes
       as you peeked outside.

in the silence of my room… I
dance the loudest,
pray the longest
cry the ugliest,
laugh the modest,
dream the youngest,
stare at empty walls for promise,
break down the strongest,
overthink within a guilty conscience,
play out my scenarios worthy of their flowers
planting fields of doubt for all my anxieties
to have a fruitful harvest

in the silence of my room… I
am truly at my honest.

music is playing in the other room
music playing
in another room
music
in another room playing
a tune
disturbing my mood
from another room
invading my space
from somewhere else
another room
music
SHUT UP!!

i’m sitting in my empty room
where dreams run dry

i’m tossing in my empty room
so desperate for shuteye

i sit here in my room so cold
with heat turned on
by the glowing moon

i’ve seen this moon too many now
i often think we’re friends, oh wow!
but musn’t i be dumb to think
or ponder what my new friend speaks

or does he speak
for he’s the moon
he speaks to me
a silent tune.

I looked at nothing today.
After an hour
It asked,
“Why are you looking at me like that?”
I, of course, didn’t expect this.
I thought I may have
Been staring at someone on accident.
Though, It was just me here,
And I suppose someone else.

Another hour passed,
As I continued staring at nothing,
And suddenly, I felt eyes
Right connected to mine.
-They felt spiteful.
“Doesn’t feel so good, huh?”
“I.. suppose not,” I said.
So I blinked.
I regained focus on the
Darkness in front of me.
Weird.
I looked at nothing today.

Being back home, in my childhood room is like climbing into a time capsule. I left for college quickly, back in ‘21 and I’ve only been back here once, briefly.

My closets are still full of my old high school clothes and there are shelves that line the upper walls of my room with maybe a hundred “Disney Princess” collectable statues (my favorite is Ariel).

I have one wall space behind my bathroom door that has a hundred yellow stickies on it - reminders of old assignments and quotes like, “Do you hate drama or create drama?” and “Imagine your future.”

Everything seems carbon dated. It gives me an impeccable, knife-like sense of ennui. I want to cherish it all or burn it all, depending on the time of day. I went to take down my old Humphry Bogart and Billie Eilish posters yesterday and Kim said “Noo,” in such a sad way that I stopped.

Hold on, let’s overthink this.

I had a hard conversation today. I broke the news to my cats (Belichick and Tom Brady) that school starts at the end of the month, and I have to go back.

They took it well, I think. You know how cats are. I’ll know in a day or two, if their good will has turned to sour offense - they'll claw something up.

Belichick seems to be watching me extra closely though.
.
.
Songs for this:
Lava by Still Woozy
Can't Hardly Wait by The Replacements
.
08.01.3PM

Procreate all of our conversations;  
to produce life in their endless longing words.

You, my beloved, hold a coveted title; as every time I speak
of you, my words are filled with a true and unyielding love,
that resounds ecstatically throughout any room.

For every conclusion of my speech, should leave
no doubt in your mind. Knowing without any hesitation
or reservation, that I love you – wholly, completely,
and unconditionally.