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The glow of city lights
reflecting on the fountain waters
it lighting up the grey brick floor.
Renon is sleeping.

After the anesthesia wore off,
it seems as if
the Drawarapla is starring at me.

Are we all
too entitled to be willing to “suffer” ?
we're clay molded, put in the work?

There’s a fine line
between submission and abuse.
090521 | 5:05PM
Sunday afternoon well spent - my weekly guest come visit me again - anxiety. And I feel this sadness, weirdness, anxiety mostly in my stomach. About what? I don't know. Oh to be adults, to be "obligated" working all the time & live an unselfish life where you provide for ever else around you. Don't get me wrong, I'm so grateful to be able to work, but I think this is my hormonal talking. I have no energy whatsoever, could be effect of the vaccine. Now I'm rumbling.
catch some rays
where the sun blaze
on the **** days

I'm Moses
where can I flee
between the red sea
Egyptian army
are behind me

sink into a deckchair
boulder inside my chest
dancing with a feet bare
on a sandy beach, I know I'm very blessed

tranquil waters
let me be uncaged
140421 | 10:47am
today is galungan day & 3rd of fasting day, so I can spend my day at the beach. My mind is a mess, everything's good, but anxiety hugging me tight. Triggered about google drive sharing, stressing out about the floor, still sad cause Norton gone, scared. about everything. I just want to soak in the sea, because salt water heals.
  Oct 2020 Megitta Ignacia
mark soltero
let me rip away the ivory
from the elephant in the room
rebuke its presence
cover my ears
so i don’t have to realize
these anxieties you bring
they long to dethrone me
rip apart each bone
pick apart this broken brain of mine
with each triggered nerve
i scream it’s okay
putrid false indifference
hopeful lies
for the barren sober pain
Megitta Ignacia Sep 2020
Chatterbox, face-to-face
Nine o'clock, brace the pace
Sign the docs, stop the chase
I quit! You're a disgrace.

Allegation: "double agent?"
Your brain is too ancient
Keep testing my patience
I'm done! from your insulting statement.

Nothing you say, can rearrange my perception
I ain't got time, for your desperate deception
Suffered enough, running out of option
Uncaged! Claiming liberation.
130920 | 18:00 PM, I'm so grateful,  in the midst of second wave pandemic situation, God found me a new job. A few days before, I was so frustrated because someone threw a stupid allegation, pressed my button. After all these time, after everything that I did, he still spit out that allegation to my face. I'm so much better than that, thank you for treating me like ****, I've had enough. Buh bye.
Megitta Ignacia Jul 2020
to those who not born an aristocrat,
what it means to be a human-being?
a terrible exhaustion - result of attrition
soulless slave - six days a week
is there any other alternative, though
I cannot outstare the bill faces
rent will due soon
endless presentations
pointless meetings
118,000 unread emails
week long business trips
"bare minimum to get by" prohibited
I have lunch delivered
snacks delivered
dinner delivered
I have all the food inside my office
and a beautiful apartment facing the sea
with the sun rays peeking in through the blinds each morning
but I'm just too busy
hopelessly hoarding pennies
hopefully saving enough joy for the future
they say your hardwork will come into frution
repeating cycles of entire career till retirement?
050620 | 15:40 PM - sunday in transition season of cobid-19 pandemic
Material things don’t entice me
Empty promises don’t  count as a remedy
Flowery words are pleasing to the ear
With apparent intentions clear

Is this just an infatuation?
An effect of my subtle imagination
This relentles game of tug of war
How I wish it wouldn’t end up in a scar

All I know is that I’m tired of this dance
Might as well give us a chance?
You have gone way past this armour
Consistency, that is all I am asking for
Megitta Ignacia Mar 2020
356 putaran bumi, kita beradu rasa
Raga saling terlekat erat, tak terasa
Rapat serapat barisan bata, tak terduga, terbiasa
Memadukan jari, tanpa perlu banyak bicara
Saling menyaut, berjalan searah

Memang arus yang membimbingku
Langit bumi berselurus mengantarmu
Bingkisan besar para dewa untukku
Berkat kebesaran yang Maha Segala
240320 | 20:48 PM di kosan tukad badung, malam ini satu hari sebelum Nyepi, diem di rumah karena masih ada pandemic Corona. Rasa syukur, satu tahun ini ditemani singa kesayanganku. Anargya artinya tidak terhingga nilainya, itulah A buatku. 💜
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