I bet you're wondering if I miss you or if I'm only just lonely.
I bet you it's neither one nor the other, It's both, honestly.

How do you describe an emptiness
That swallows you whole?
What does it feel like to be full?
What is the word for lack of emotional intimacy? Undeveloped feelings of affection and illiteracy
in the language of love?

How do you release in healthy ways?
How do you close your eyes,
At the end of the day
Without self eroding highs
And shaking hands that feel like standing still in an earthquake?

How do you believe in something
enough that you become it?

I bet you think I'm only just lonely or that I miss you a lot
I'd bet the opposite of both, but maybe I'm better off not.

And I don't know
but maybe I'm not supposed
to be who I once was
What is this radical notion
that I have to move backwards
in order to be me?
Perhaps in rebuilding myself
I can allow a few tweaks
Some new upgrades
Maybe a new me
Is who I'm supposed to be

I sit at window
reflecting on beauty of minds heart.
With deep meditative breath
I connect for peacefulness.

I sit on mountain,
reflecting on beauty of earth entity.
With deep breath and focus,
I connect for harmony

I sit in vessel,
reflecting on beauty as sky and earth merge.
With deep breath and a smile,
I connect for joy.

I sit at ocean bed,
reflecting on gratitude for everything.
With deep breath and balance,
I connect in oneness.

StarBG © 2017

What lies
beyond the
mist, the
reflecting
ocean of
my being,
wandering
Into the
endless,
eternal fields
of the moon,
before,
I once saw
you here
In the darkness,
I heard you
ask yourself,
why am I worthy?
as a light shines
where your heart
Is, you ask yourself,  
why do I not feel
whole? I touch
your chest
with my hands,
you will
soon see,
within
you holds
everything and
the all,
the power
of love.

Monotony is the key,
To my own Insanity.

I envy children
They have something I have lost
That magical sense of wonder
The joy of waking up to a new day
They don't know the hardships of life and are content
I envy their ignorance
One more dreamlike day would bring me solace
Sadly my childhood is long gone
Good things always come to an end

i have this bad case of emotional abuse
honestly, all it does for me is serve to amuse
because have you ever let something so stupid happen?
all you can do is laugh at yourself for allowing it
i am the one hurting myself -
you you you
you've given me a bad case of emotional abuse
(and i let you)