Today I missed you,
My mind wandered
And led me to memories,
Of you, of kisses
Of vows forgotten
And broken promises

I thought of your whereabouts,
If your heart is being taken care of
If your smile is still the brightest
I thought of your voice, echoing,
Through my veins and bones

Today I missed you,
I promise I won't call, neither text,
There is a reason you are now my ex,
A reason with a name and last name
Any other attempt, will keep me lame
So I'll just think,
And miss what you where

some days I feel I'm too full of emotions for
the disconnect we share
physical bluntness leaves me empty
and often intrigues yearning for more
in the middle of the night,
pillow held tightly to my chest
I long for the romance that is being loved

some days it all comes back and hits me
full force, I am not strong enough to stand against it
I can’t close my eyes without feeling your hand
on the back of my head, forcing me
down down down
I often wish that phrase was only a metaphor
maybe that’s the source of my disconnect

some days I feel passion so deep
others I wake up cold and roll over
to pull the covers back over my head
the pain of it varies day to day
no day is the same, the anger fluctuates
I wonder if I’ll ever recover
until then,

I don’t know.

Take me to the edge
Make me feel the light
You'll see I can pass the test
To keep you close and tight

Your words fuel me up
Like burning gasoline
I'll come clean
From all the things I've done

I'll show you a star
For you to compare with
Your smile
So you can see it
Even from afar

Tweaker Tweaker
Did you eat any dinner
And Have you showered
Tweaker Tweaker
How long have you been awake
When's the last time you had real sleep
Or is everyday maintained
W/ 10mins every half hr.
Tweaker Tweaker
Do the shadows still appear
Are the voices the only thing you hear
Is what you feel inside your skin
Even real or just made up in your head
Tweaker Tweaker
Do you even care
The ones you love miss you so much
Do you even care
You've lost your life before 25
Tweaker Tweaker
Please get better
Reach out for help
Put the needle down
Drop the pipe, hear it shatter
Blow away that line you just crushed up
Tweaker Tweaker
It'll be alright
Your loved ones are still near
They still care
Reach out for help
Don't be scared
Everyone only wants to help
Tweaker Tweaker
When you quit
The devil will shout
It won't be easy , count on that
It will be worth it
You'll get to live
So try your best
Beat past this, you'll get through this
Slowly but surely
You'll make to 100 days sober
Reunite with all your loved ones
Employeed with a growing family
Is what will come
When you decide  
It's time to end the Devils game
So
Tweaker no more,
but a lady or gentleman
Good for you
You've come far
Keep your mind positive
I'm proud of your sobriety
Congratulations  
You're living
& now you see why
Sobriety was always worth it
Tweaker no more
Lady or gentleman
How was the meal you just had
Was the shower the best you've had ?
Did you finally get some sleep
Were you able to escape
the shadows and voices from in your head
Tweaker no more
Just admit
This is the best you've felt
Since your first time trying crystal  
You feel human finally
There's no going back
To tweaker island
You won't make it out
The second time around
So hide your very best
Keep yourself busy
And talk out loud
When you feel like
you Might relapse back
into tweakers land.  
With no chance to survive another night

When I think about it,
I’m a glass half-empty—
I’m running out of myself
and I don’t know how I’m going to recover.