I hold on tight
but you push me away.
     You want me to leave
but I choose to stay.
     I want to fight through this
but you think we should quit.
     You want to give up
for a wall we have hit.
     You're no longer the one
that makes me smile.
     You'll forget who I am
in just a short while

I can't quit loving people,
Who don't love me back.
I've never been one to give up,
But maybe this time I should.

My name is Jaclyn,
and I have a drinking problem.
I am trying to find the courage,
to ask you to love me anyways.

My mom used to say,
Don't you dare put someone
through what you did to us.
You are not a good person
when you're drunk.

Yeah, I'll quit drinking..
Next weekend.
I swear, This is the last time.
But I'm sure you've heard that line.
I've worn out the meaning,
in the knees of my jeans.
Dry heaving.

She brings me a glass of water,
and all I gave her was a *******,
and a *******.
I just wanted to have fun.
At the expense of my love.

Here is my word:
I will never make
you be the girlfriend,
of a dead girlfriend.
Because we got too many
dead friends already.

This is my getting sober poem.
This is my "not passing out
in a parking lot" poem.
This is my "You gotta die
from something, but it will
not be an overdose" poem.

Please.

This is my,
"Please Love Me Through This"
poem.

For some reasons
It seemed so right
To move out of life
renting a space in hell
awaiting my death

This became my fate
On that painful Friday
as I ran through hate
Punching my face on glass
With eyes open and sore
I chose death to life
When I said those words
     "I QUIT"
that will hunt me for life
as I retell I sigh
remincing my rash induced pain
Swallowing spittle to give gain
Holding on to withdrawn hands
Screaming in my dreams
As I cuss loudly
Bemoaning my fate
When I chose the path
Not carved by God
as he clearly told me....as I moved far away
"My daughter please stop"
Repent and return
as hell is in front
and regrets pursue you

I turned and sought
those arms I love
rewriting my words
Hoping for good...
But changes will be as I still remember
My five insane minutes of hell!!!

I question whether to hold you within or to let you go.
I stare at the life holding on to the nothingness,
Thinking I haven't done anything but held on to the emptiness,
Oh life, how do I let you pass me by everyday?
Oh life, how have I let you become so stagnant?
Trying to find the corners of the emptiness
I forgot how to look at you.  

I know my priorities but not how I want to work for them,
I know what my goal should be but desert is all I see,
Mirages of the could've been and what ifs.
Emptiness, Why did I let you in? Why can't I let you out?
Emptiness, you are strong, though you make me weak.
You make me question my existence,
You make me believe my demons.

I wish I knew how to quit you,
But you are my companion,
The one that never leaves.

Use me,
Abuse me,
Don't look at me,
Just through me.
Force yourself
Ontop of me,
Then let me grieve
Quietly.
I lay there crying,
Soaking the sheet,
The uneasiness within me
Starts to repeat.
Hit me,
Quit me,
Don't love me,
Don't lust me.
Break me,
Shake me,
For God's sake,
Heartbreak me.
Tell me when it's over,
Tell me when you're done,
And as long as I'm crying,
Just know that you have won.
My body's weak;
You make it weaker,
But you keep taking,
You push deeper.
And then at once,
You're up and gone,
They ask for a description,
I tell them, *"the Devil's spawn".

I'm going to quit from this world
Not as a winner or looser
But as a pending question forever!

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
Do you like your future served in black?
Dead lungs and your body in a sack?
Your family crying and me in the back?

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
Why are you letting toxic flow through your veins?
Do you like to grow old and be in pain?
You know you're walking down the devil's lane.

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
I'm your little girl, do you even care?
Your poisonous smoke is all over the air.
Don't give me more burden than I can bear.

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
Don't you know, don't you see what you're doing?
The time we're supposed to have is only fading.
Do you think a bright future isn't worth pursuing?

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
Why are you killing yourself and dragging me along?
They say you're addicted, please prove them wrong.
I know you can do it, I know you are strong.

Daddy, tell me why you smoke?
I wish for one thing, and one thing only.
Tell me you'll quit and erase my worry.
And promise me forever I won't lose my daddy.