Use me,
Abuse me,
Don't look at me,
Just through me.
Force yourself
Ontop of me,
Then let me grieve
Quietly.
I lay there crying,
Soaking the sheet,
The uneasiness within me
Starts to repeat.
Hit me,
Quit me,
Don't love me,
Don't lust me.
Break me,
Shake me,
For God's sake,
Heartbreak me.
Tell me when it's over,
Tell me when you're done,
And as long as I'm crying,
Just know that you have won.
My body's weak;
You make it weaker,
But you keep taking,
You push deeper.
And then at once,
You're up and gone,
They ask for a description,
I tell them, *"the Devil's spawn".

I'm going to quit from this world
Not as a winner or looser
But as a pending question forever!

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
Do you like your future served in black?
Dead lungs and your body in a sack?
Your family crying and me in the back?

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
Why are you letting toxic flow through your veins?
Do you like to grow old and be in pain?
You know you're walking down the devil's lane.

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
I'm your little girl, do you even care?
Your poisonous smoke is all over the air.
Don't give me more burden than I can bear.

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
Don't you know, don't you see what you're doing?
The time we're supposed to have is only fading.
Do you think a bright future isn't worth pursuing?

Daddy, tell me why you smoke.
Why are you killing yourself and dragging me along?
They say you're addicted, please prove them wrong.
I know you can do it, I know you are strong.

Daddy, tell me why you smoke?
I wish for one thing, and one thing only.
Tell me you'll quit and erase my worry.
And promise me forever I won't lose my daddy.

I quit letting you steer my beautiful life,
causing this sort of internal strife
I quit letting you steal a memory from me,
having me escape for a moment selfishly
I quit letting you fester in my lungs
and defending you with my poisoned tongue
I quit letting you be my constant escape,
using you as a bandaid to heal my scrapes
I quit letting you be a part of me
because today and forever I am clean

Today. I give up.*

I got up to you,
I climbed
all the stairs of the seven storeys, until
I got there, where
I forsook
the costume and the mask,
the desire and the expectancy.
I left them all neatly folded at the door.
You will find them in the morning when
you will wake up and
you will leave sleepy for the office.
You probably won't put them into consideration.
You'll step over "i miss you",
over "i'd love to",
and you''ll hit the little"why" in its belly while
he slowly pulls your sleeve.
Don't worry,
I am better now.
I forgot about the dimples and the mole.
How does your voice sound?
Your eyes... are they green or brown?
That yellow t-shirt,
that plaid shirt...
I do not even care if
you will see the pile
waiting for you outside the door.
It's not like
you have not seen
my backpack every time
we met...

Today I give up.

Because
I am not made of concrete,
and that's how the breeze that
you carry with you
always
unbalances
me.
Because
I really know how to ride a bike and
I do not need training wheels.
Because
I am not afraid.
Because
I have courage.
And especially,
because
I have nothing to do here.
It's empty and deserted.
It's nothing.

*Today I quit.

Just know when to hold on
when to quit,
and when to move on,
and you'll be fine.