Am I trying hard enough?*
Because *you see me,
you must...
and sometimes I need
answers when I'm reaching
and all I grasp is dust.
And I am full
of things I distrust,
like hate
and vanity
and certainly
lust.

If ever there was a moment
I needed you most,
it's when I think I don't need
anything
because I am not even
cutting it close.
I need your everything,
because you have all
that I wish
I could boast
about being
so reminiscent
of your
holy ghost.

This land that's never set her eyes on war
Never tasted the blood of soldiers
But oh how she has tasted blood
Never tasted salty tears of genocide
But oh how she's tasted tears
Never hungered with her children's famine
But oh how she's hungered
Never brought to her knees with hopeless prayers
But oh how she has prayed
Never lived in constant terror
But oh how she has feared
The innocence that once rest like a quilt on frail shoulders
Ripped away to bear the fierce cold
Comfort, so taken for granted
Will be a beacon of what we'll miss
When all is lost

Do you remember me old lady or am I missing from your mind.
You used to be my mother if you only could recall
but you sit here in this armchair humming tunes that no-one knows
and you can't walk without assistance, should you fall.

I've been sitting here for hours and you utter not a word,
just looking into the realms of space, what should I do?
There is no-one in this place with whom I've got a chance to chat
so I suppose I might as well stay here and chat to you.

I watch as you eat liquid meals that spill all down your front,
I mop morsels off of your face with paper towel
and all I have for this attention is to hear you passing wind
whilst your only ****** expression is a scowl.

We never ever got on, hence you living in this home
for you never did agree with me not one singular time.
Whatever I did do or say was almost always wrong
and you never bothered with me in your prime.

So I don't know why I care for you I must be totally nuts
I know you wouldn't want me here not even for a bet.
So I must have feelings for you floating somewhere in my mind
and I know that there are many things I really should forget.

Things sometime flash before me so brief they move that quick
and in all these little glimpses that must have come from God above,
they rekindle tender moments, when you were kind and so sincere
and provoke that once upon a time there must have been some love.

So then with these thoughts in my mind I will really like to say
that I am sorry for the loathing thoughts I have gathered through the years.
I will do my best to make these remaining days that little more
and will care for you my mother and keep you in my prayers.