No matter how
you sugarcoat it,
there is never
a nice way
of calling someone
fat.

I.E.

“You would have been beautiful
in the Renaissance era
[because in the Renaissance era
they painted portraits
of chubby girls like you—
back then,
fat was artistry.]


I still don’t know what
I was more upset about:
The backhanded compliment--
"would have"
being synonymous for
"no longer"--
or the fact that
I was conditioned
to believe the
Mona Lisa
was anything short of  
sublime.

tell me
who drew you in 
and made you think
the bones and joints
within your knees
the veins and nerves
mapping out your entire being
were not already complete?

who made you see
through their broken glass
who made you think
it was okay not to ask
to ask you how
it made you feel 
when they realized
they weren't going to be real
to you or to your swollen heart

you were just so beautiful to see
they just couldn't let you be
and when they fed you their falsities
they made you think you had to stay
as if half of you had gone away

when in truth—you were noting short of gold

and you should have been told
the one thing they couldn't be
was everything they knew
you needed them to be

and when this realization hits
they don't even have the heart to admit
you were everything they wanted
but couldn't be

so they just had to taste it 
they had to feel your breeze
and they take and they take
and then they leave...

but darling don't you fret

for they will never forget
the love they found in you
the love you still hold true
the love that's grown too

you needed them to help you through
so now you see that the best part of life
has always been about loving you

days passing into brand new lights
seeking the days that can’t replaced
Taking out the damage that was laced
Swimming but in a stagnant position

walking out of class to meditate
Thoughts to sedate
Set a date
My death
Serve it on your dinner plate

What’s your reason?
Said that ***** was mine that day you left
I just laugh at how it all came together to destruct
How do we attain certainty in what we say?

Clouds will move away but still the sky remains

Create your own reality, control it with mentality and mentally believe that you are right where your need to be.

Does the past define you?
And your now predict ya?
Do you feel the same as in last years pictures?

I don't believe in fixtures
We're evolving you see
Consciously
Individually
Collectively
And cosmically

But if you only see with eyes
And only hear with ears
Then the connection and perception
then suddenly disappears

Fantasy is merely a hungover version of reality, unbarred and subject to the whim of the dreamer

Loosely tethered to existence between a life we wish upon ourselves and a dissatisfied ego

For he who rejects this ideal reveals a falsity in his perception

And he who believes these mistruths that is found undeserving of confidence

Now I know//
to move on from what it all used to mean//
the change of mind was a sudden switch of scenes//
never told me what I was, a narcissist that couldn’t see//
ever told you how I felt? there was nothing in between//

no matter what you do//
no matter what I do//
can’t forget about us two//
will stand up and yell the truth//
the only one in view//
but one I cannot reach//
I just sit and think in blue//
thoughts I can’t pursue//
they only make me feel bad for all the **** I *******//

the end of our romance//
periods of time to enhance//
I gave “me” a second chance//

They think I'm rich
They think I'm wealthy
They think I'm a saint
That I'm healthy
They think that they know
What it means to be me
Oh no
No they don't understand me
Not at all

They think I'm lost
They think I'm drifting
They think I've no cause
That I'm sinking
They think that they can see
What it means to be me
But they can't even see me
Oh no
No they don't understand me
Not at all