you control a part of me
without even realizing the power
you have over me.

save me from a pending heartbreak
by slowly giving me back control
and hand over my heart.

i would have thought the universe spat in my face
while getting gas after leaving your place
caught up in a brief interval of violent downpour
living in the shadow of shelter built for me
clouds drool for several minutes afterwards
i am dry beneath manmade canopies
you are stretching across the sky
free from conformity
fondling with branches dangling loose
jealousy writhes in my sturdy upbringing
if it were not for my pact with the universe
i would have taken this as a sign to leave
how infatuated trees are with you
how the sky cries for you
how roots untangle themselves for you
but i understand that when sun showers occur
the universe is with me more than ever
tangling herself with my emotions
bright and weeping
all at once
colliding in ways that neglect to care for one another
you are too fearful of things you cannot see
unknown territory primarily causing you concern
i drive miles for you on a daily basis in the dark
but what is distance if you have the sky at your fingertips
grasping for what is left of your horizon
i am merely stuck admiring sunrises for the time being
until the storm passes in front of me
unfaltering repetition in your unsteady breath at night
beauty held inconsistently in consistent
chaos

to be on hold pending
in anticipation of what or what
what for and why and why
whom in the heath of what and where I am
lost behind the door behind the lamp for
a window behind a window behind
a blizzard behind the snow
for the sun behind the sunny rain

be in anticipation of waiting for something
how it is and what kind of flashlight it counts
where am I where I am not was
times there was no time there was no past
and there was no future and now where I am
in anticipation of who is where and when and how in
waiting for that sunny rainfall

23.09.18

My heart won't stop beating
Beause of not meant to be's
As much as it aches
There's still much to see

Perhaps, it is not over yet
No, not a happy ending
But a few pages left,
A story-end still pending

Darkness covered the skies,
While my body was restless with the tides.
I tried not to wait for the sunrise,
Because, it just reminded me of your eyes.

I remember holding you in my arms,
While surrendering to the stars,
Hoping to never fall apart.

The touch of your hand with mine,
The smell of Calvin Klein,
The taste of cherry wine,
Intoxicating me inside.

I didn't see this in cards,
Or the rolling dice in our hearts.

I imagined a future,
With the definition of forever.

But, now I see-
We were never meant to be.

When tomorrow comes,
Without the taste of ***,
We will find someone.

Now it is time for me to go,
And leave this pain for the runaways-
So, Goodbye, my Summer's Day!

Her brown eyes crept up to me.
Delicate and wide.

I could see the love of her mother,
And pride of her father.

A universe stretched out farther then the eye could see,
Filled with shining stars,
And faceless scars.

Her stare had an ingenious beauty.
Like a meadowless daisy.

Her glare had an artless grace,
Like colorless vase.

This glow was naive from the broken lives,
Wondering on this fallen world.

This credulous light,
Waiting to be ripped by jealousy.

I almost wanted to hold her there,
Away from the horrors in life.
Far from Apollyon's hands,
Like a guardian in the night.

Her innocents daring to walk on this thin rope,
Called hope.

Then, I saw with my waking eyes.
A white aisle covered by heavens flowers,
Congregations starring at her beautiful smile.
Oh, what a lovely mile.

For, there I knew
Her life was a magnificent design-
That wasn't mine.

I let her go into the hands of the divine,
Where she waits for her Valentine.

Oh, Lord I know you will hold her tight,
As she waits for her fearless knight.

I heard a tale long ago, a story of old.
Happiness and love filled the tale.
There was no pain, anger, or hatred far enough to see.
For this tale was written,
written for me.

My heart is racing inside of my chest.
The life I use to know is far behind.
For I am looking at the finish line.
Just another life to go,
Until I am in your arms.
No valley or mountain will stand in my way.
I can see the finish line.