"Could you spare a moment?
I need to talk to you,
it's important."

"Not right now,
I'm busy.
Can we talk later?"

"Oh, okay."

And we never talk.

I want to sleep
and never wake up
until everything
is alright.

and for a second i remembered why i fell in love with you all those years ago
it wasn’t just the laugh or the way your eyes lingered for a half a second too long but the way you made me feel in your presence,
like there was nothing else in the world that could draw your attention from my words.
but then i remembered, the temper, the walls, the vast insecurities that strangled you at night, and i remembered why i moved on,
you could never love me the way you loved being lost and i knew
i could never find you.

I’ve never had a boyfriend.
Not even close.
But that has never stopped me from wanting one.
I use to think I needed one.
Like how could I possibly go through life without a guy by my side?
But here I am at 24 (almost 25) and still no one is around.
But now I realize that I never needed one.
I didn’t need one to make good grades or get my degree.
No that was all me.
I didn’t need one to go to prom.
And that’s because I didn’t want to go.
I didn’t need one to break my heart.
No. I could do that all on my own.
I wish I could fix my broken heart myself but I can’t.
But I still don’t need one to fix my brokenness.
God is fixing my broken heart.
I’ll let you know when He’s finished.

a kiss
so small yet
so painful
on lips of mine
naught but ash
on my mind
the lips of hers
of lipstick red
with cherry taint.

All I see is you
Your heart stopping smile
And your never tiring glowing eyes.
All your beautiful etiquettes
And me drowning
In the twisted swirling confusion.
Nothing's clear but seems so real
Eyes shut, Dream on!

But the first thing I see
When my eyes wide open
Are the broken weak efforts
Trying to get off the bed.
I need to but I don't want to
Here I go again,
In the never ending spiral.
I am the mindless freak
The ignorant piece with nothing to feel.

There will never be
a happy ending
between us.