I always asked myself why I loved you
Even though I was certain we won't last.
I have always wondered why we're breathing
Even though our heart would one day stop.
Maybe it's because life is still worth living
Even when we know death from the start.
Maybe because you're worth loving
Even when I know you won't love me back.
Our love was perfect
A story of fairytale.
A work of fiction.
Everyone was such a fool
They were easy to convince
But there was one that can't be wooed
That one person, it was me.
Despite the efforts of flushing away
All the memories I had of you
In my dreams you still haunt me—
Like a ghost— out of the blue.
Then when I woke the pain returned
As if all of it was only yesterday.
The memories I thought I burried,
Back on the ground they found their way.
Hours again of staring into nothingness
I felt my heart ripped apart.
Into my bed with steaming warmness
I cannot move on to a fresh start.
All the things that should feel natural
Suddenly felt like a work so hard
May it be breathing or blinking,
Even the beating of my heart.
All of it was because I once again dreamed of you
So believe me when I say...
It was never easy falling out of love for you.
In ending our lives
We will never know
Whatever there is
That lies before.
It is the dreams
Of heavens and skies.
It is the nightmares
That roams at night.
Brave are they
Who tried to seek
In the never ending sleep.
For all the days I wake
To the sun that sneaks a peek,
I tell myself to take a grip
Before the reality slips.
You tell everyone you’re ok
But you hide in the dark
Buried beneath insecurity and doubt
Fearing the next day’s spark
You have a smile
But its never really real
Because you stopped feeling
And it stopped hurting after a while
You can feel your heart beating
But after so long
It doesn’t seem to be doing its job
After every beat failing and restarting
You can't believe this is living
But this is all it will ever be
Shaking and cracking with every breath
You simply want to stop being
For those times I have cried,
And wept every night,
Questions are bugging me
They're filling up my mind.
How could I love,
And never be loved?
How couldn't I get,
When I've given what I got?
How could I forgive,
When I wasn't forgiven?
How could I believe,
And how come he never listened?
How come she came,
And got what I want?
When all I ever wanted
Was all of your love.
But now I have seen
How happy you've become
And all of my questions
From thousands became none.
When, and Why
I could finally say goodbye.