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karma ch Jan 24
am i worth your while?
can i be your one and only focus
will you be the daddy i've needed since i was a child
why should i ask you to be what you should want to be?

am i too old for attention?
am i too big for affection?
is maturity affliction?
is my reality twisted by my retention?

when you see me i become a different person
am i not silent or feeble enough?
is my exterior too rough, or my interior too tough?
what makes me separate from who i was before
i don't recall changing in those seconds.

you said i was sweet before
more cute and interesting than any other
i'm smart, just as long as i don't stop being normal
and if i look the part, you'll love me evermore?

i can't shrink myself down to quaint size
i can't make my voice an octave higher
if that can't changed to a might
or if it did, you may offer a maybe
i'd drop everything in a second
for a chance to be your baby.
strangers - ethel cain
V3NUS Jan 13
I'm not going to tell all my friends I'm suicidal
and I'm not going to send three texts to every contact I have every day

I don't need to make plans with them
I'm fine with the socialization I get from school

I'm not suicidal because of things at school
my problems stem from home

Dad is almost never home
just because his job makes him have to work far away doesn't mean he can't call

Meena needs to get off my ***
every single tiny ******* thing she feels the need to point out
and not to mention the fat shaming

And just because Lali has ADHD doesn't mean she can be a *****
she can't tell me nobody likes me and I have no friends because she's angry
I'm no psychologist
but I don't think ADHD works like that

And you need to get off my *** when it comes to grades
I made it into the school musical
I have a pretty big role
And band
I might ask for a solo
but you wouldn't care about my intrests would you
no... all it is is school, school, school, and grades with you

and maybe
yeah
most of my friends from my favorite friend group are going through a tough time
but you know what
I get more support there
than I do at home

so no
I'm not lonely
i'm... neglected, I guess
my mom found out I was suicidal and made me text my friends more because she thought I was lonely. but the thing is I told her she and Dad don't pay enough attention to me as a person... but good news: I found out they actually love me :)
Kaiden Jan 10
I love you,
So continue to live your life
Without me.
Sometimes it's better to leave them
I wish you’d rise above it all
And be the person I thought I saw.
The loving parent I dreamed you’d be,
Cherishing your kids unconditionally.
But once again, I see the truth—
That dream was never meant for you.

You taught us right from wrong, it’s true,
But failed to practice what you knew.
Believing yourself better than the rest,
Yet you’re no top-notch, high-class success.
Not even the middle ground you aspired to be,
But the dollar store version of what a parent shouldn’t be.

Your children are shattered, broken, and torn,
But instead of reflection, you point and scorn.
Blaming others, yet blind to this fact:
Every hand shaped the pain we’ve packed.
One told us love wasn’t ours to claim,
That our worth was tied to our weight and shame.
Another sought love and found none to give,
While one taught us grace in how to live.
The rest hid away, their courage sold,
Leaving us with lessons both cruel and cold.

But you, you’re the real masterstroke—
You taught us to carry everyone’s yoke.
To put ourselves last, to give and give,
Till there’s nothing left in us to live.
Now we’re all broken in different ways—
One’s near the grave, another astray,
And the last just fights to make it through the day.

They cry softly at night, their breath so thin,
You wouldn’t notice—it doesn’t fit in.
All they’ve ever wanted was to make you proud,
To feel seen, even once, above the crowd.
But your plans for them twist and betray,
Stealing their hope and their dreams away.

You rob them of money, of land, of peace,
All for a façade that will never cease.
Chasing a life to save face at work,
Pretending you’re more than a person who shirks.
But the truth is plain for all to see—
You’ve failed them, and you’ve failed me.
Rubianne Foster Dec 2024
I wanted you to brush my hair
So we could talk and giggle
To sit at your feet
And be told how to be
A desire to lay my head on your knee
As cigarettes fill the air
The chores are left unfinished
And I am just another boring task.
So today my hair was brushed by me
ivan Dec 2024
a child
mind so rich
but still
only wishes to be held

a father
father of a mind
a mind so rich
but still
he throws the mind away


little does he know he was never held.
UHMMMM INSPIRED BY MEPHONE4 AND STEVE COBS… FROM INANIMATE INSANITY HELP
Cloudisse Nov 2024
These are two words which are completely foreign to me.

What is a mother? What is a father? How do they both act? I have not only been deprived of their significant meanings and experiences, but defiled also.

I am plagued with Mommy issues, Daddy issues. Anything at all relevant to something paternal, forcefully and painfully stirs something inside me.

I wish to squirm and break away from such a topic. It hurts.

Envy? Yes. But I know it is futile to wish and be other children with healthy families.

Everything Is Worldly.
Raven Star Oct 2024
It all bled and bled and bled.

The hurt. The abandonment. The truth. The metaphors. 

It all bled.

It all bled so vicious and dark,
That I started wondering if my bitterness
started staining the crimson of my blood.
And painted it a stark black,
As I picked apart all that I lack.

And I bled and bled and bled like
The never-ending torture 
Of birth and death.
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