I'm blind without You
I need Your sight
Guide me

I’m a deep sleeper, like sleep-through-
three-alarm-clocks deep,
but as soon as u-hit-me-up,
I’m here and ready to go,
dreams cracking like brittle eggshells,
Snap & I’m awake,
pixels sifting me through a screen,
ghosting me into the flow-of-a-glow,
of what? I don’t know.
Blurry muscle massaged messages,
folding my body into u.
Text me awake & i rise like
auto-corrected prayer,
like the night forgot to be lonely,
to u.
where do u go when you dream?
Snap & i’m gone,
chasing a buzzy buzzed flash,
just a ping of wssp
in the bed we used to share,
in the reply where sleep
pulls me under again.

A void where when your affection dwelled,
A gorge profound, where satisfaction withstood.
Presently repeats wait, murmurs of agony,
A heart uncontrolled, lost in the downpour.

I meander through days, a ghost's phantom,
Tormented by recollections, a weighty expense.
Your giggling, a tune, presently a lament,
Your touch, a glow, presently an unpleasant flood.

The world appears to be dim, absent any and all shade,
An infertile scene, where nothing is new.
Each stage a battle, a fatigued situation,
Lost in the obscurity, without your light.

The evenings are unending, loaded up with despair,
An unpleasant quiet, stunning.
Your nonappearance, a consistent, a significant burden,
Pushing down on me, constantly.

I long for your presence, your caring hug,
To experience your glow, to see your face.
Be that as it may, distance keeps us separated, a horrible declaration,
A partition, difficult to see.

I look for comfort, everywhere,
In any case, track down no solace, no harmony, no Danny.
The world appears to be chilly, a relentless machine,
Without your adoration, I'm lost, concealed.

I attempt to occupy myself, with books and craftsmanship,
However, nothing can make up for the shortcoming in my heart.
The hurt of yearning, a consistent aggravation,
A significant weight, that I can't maintain.

I miss your grin, your giggling, your mind,
The manner in which you caused me to feel so fit.
Your affection was a fortune, a valuable gift,
Presently lost everlastingly, an excruciating fracture.

I long to hold you, to feel your touch,
To realize that our adoration, won't ever be squashed.
Be that as it may, destiny has mediated, a brutal wind,
Leaving me broken, lost, and uncontrolled.

I look for replies, however see as none,
Lost in a maze, where trust has gone.
The aggravation of partition, a weighty burden,
A weight excessively weighty, to be conveyed abroad.

I attempt to continue on, yet it's difficult to do,
At the point when each memory, carries me to you.
The prospect of losing you, perpetually, is a trepidation,
That torment my fantasies, a large number of years.

I trust sometime in the future, we'll see as our way back,
To the adoration we once had, a lovely track.
Up to that point, I'll continue, with overwhelming sadness,
Expecting a future, where we won't ever part.

Thus, I stand by, anxiously,
For the day when our adoration will vanquish demise.
At the point when we'll be brought together, by and by,
What's more, our hearts will retouch, and our adoration will rule.

Learning to be grateful for your blessings
While dissimulating contentedness.
Undeluding is your soul that aches for interaction it seems to be blanking.
Unwritten wishes that derive hope from you, whom wishes for a fraction of reminiscence

And you are a selfish addict.
Destroying yourself over a feeling of nostalgia you’re unaware you’ve even experienced.
There are people in front of you who are very capable of making you laugh and giggle and squeal
Yet you look beyond them towards that unidentifiable something that you long for.

A slave to your mind,
A slave to your hopes for discovery
A slave to that unidentifiable something,
A slave to the self hatred you proclaimed as “nothing”
And will you ever escape it?

You will find that even while running!
And even while pleading--
And even while that small hamster causes a commotion in your head as it runs in place,
Progress painfully predictable,
Do you repetitively realize that your redundant expedition is indefinitely infinite
Physically synonymous to the hamster that continues to run even when it sees the path doesn't change.

As if it needs to run to maintain its sanity.
To not submit to psychosis over that torturous feeling or stage or whatever the hell of deja vu.
Do you even have any idea where anything will lead to if you don’t even know where you’re to stand?
And who will you crawl to when you’re stuck in that maliciously mundane state of emptiness?
When you’re unaware of who will be able to understand that never-ending journey of longingness—

Now hear it, despite its genericity, you truly feel like this pain is yours alone to bear.

Learning to be grateful for your blessings
When you can only yearn for the knowledge of which keeps your heart so unresponsive
Filled with worry that you’ll break a bone, should they be as hollow as you.

Happiness eludes you.
Fulfillment escapes you.
You.
Left pondering whether such a cure can even exist
To exterminate a disease as abnormally unsettling as this.

You,
A Crackbaby.