I'm not focusing on the fact of how much
work I have to get finished, by tomorrow.
Because if I DO I'll freak out.
I just focus on getting it done... Not how much.
Chemistry-----
Math----
S#!t...
I can't do it...
I'm smart.
I'm awesome.
I got this.
...
Probably

And then
In a single moment
You were the oxygen I breathe
I found it hard to believe
That I might die without your touch
Just your presence and your scent
Was more than enough
But a tiny drop of your love
Could never be too much

wreaths:

hand in my lap
back to the precious fears we thought we stored so far from here
grit my teeth punch the wreath
it falls and leaves scatter across the floor
i wonder if this is a metaphor
i smirk and slam the door as more begins to fall, it is leaves galore
get a broom to sweep the mess when suddenly i must confess
its too much of a hassle to rearrange the disengaged
let it fend for itself, not much to do for such state of health
not even a reboot could contribute
gems and jewels, they too shall be tools
for the wealthy doesn't feel such grief as do these cheap wreaths attached upon a staple-piece that was never meant to be combined, we all will know it in time.

Great. Okay. We're on the same page about this finally and it's great because friendship is great...
But I won't lie, I wish we weren't finishing this book
I wanna be on the same page of a different chapter with you, in a different book with you with a completely different ending with you and a plot line so good we're played on movie screens...
But, unfortunately, I am not the author of this cliche and honestly rereading this failed fairy tale is starting to put me to sleep
And I feel as though I am effortlessly putting effort into trying to be mature about this if that makes any sense because this feeling comes and goes and sometimes I care and sometimes I don't and other times I just can't..

Never wish for the end
Gonna stroke your hand
Give ya daises and roses
You smile passionately
Up fly our candles
Never cry when I am around
Gonna run us outta town
Let us burn this place down
You swig your drink
Down we go past the river of smoke
Never stop believing
Gonna stay with you I shall
Run around, declaring our love
Around this world
And every place beyond
Desert this cesspool
You blush and hide your face
Never cry for hatred, only passion
Gonna kiss your nose
Make you giggle again
You make me so happy
Cry as I give you tickles
Never stop living
Gonna grow old with you
Say our vows
Goodbye dark past
Never go back again
Gonna stay with you
Tell us soon
A couple of baby girls
Lie down as you kiss them
And be happy
Hurt will never happen again
You are the only one

We all have that one thing keeping us going,
I can't define what it is,
Who it is
Where it may be
But I know it gives me that jolt of happiness,
That encouragement,
Motivation,
To get up everyday,
To walk,
Sit
Eat
Talk...
To breathe and be thankful,
I don't know,
Im just grateful for that,
So thank you

Tonight just isn't going my way
I am not in the best mood and
apparently neither is he
I got excited for no reason
did my makeup for no reason
looked forward to today for no reason
I may as well have never gotten out of bed
It just isn't my day
I want to be in a better mood
I want to cheer up
In less than an hour we will be in bed
and today will be over

Don't really know when it's okay to talk to you
Is it okay to talk to you?
You only answer at certain times
Maybe you're just busy
Maybe you have nothing to talk about
I want to talk to you about everything though.
I want to tell you about my day
About my classes
My lack of art this week
My professors
My classmates
My job
Veronica's dog.
I feel like I would be a bother if I did that.
So I try to say nothing.

I remember when we were kinds, so young and so free
A perfect example of best friends you and me
So many things have happened, but you didn't know for 9 years...
For 9 years I loved you and my hazel eyes couldn't help but well in tears

For hiding for that long, I could call myself the master of secrecy
But I couldn't hide my own secrets, and I knew I felt pure agony
And even though you were so bubbly
When I tried to touch your heart, you popped, and you were gone from me