O wat zou ik graag
Mijn herinneringen
Aan stukken rijten
Om ze vervolgens
Op een zomermiddag
Buiten op een kleedje
Stilletjes uit te zoeken
Om dan uiteindelijk
De door mij
Zorgvuldig uitgekozen
Momenten
Weer aan elkaar te plakken
Alsof het is
Een oude filmrol
Zodat ik die op
Mijn allerlaatste dag
Af zou kunnen spelen

This moment was never mine
But somehow I found the arrogance to hold onto it
To fear it, to fight it, to somehow decide if it was wrong or if it was right
or if I was even alive inside it, and if I would survive it
To see the next one roll around and drown whatever fragile solace I found.

But before the answer finds me, the next moment and I meet.
And this one isn’t too keen to let me believe it’d be okay to just breathe
Without thinking about the million little reasons I'm too scared to leave

So I’ll stay
And I’ll huff and I'll puff
But no amount of breath will ever be enough
To satisfy the divide between my lungs and my mind

Whatever moment is next to be, but I guess it’s not meant to be
Because I never find the next moment, it always finds me

But there doesn’t seem to be any peace in this fresh start
Only faster thumps from my restless heart
Telling my fingers and knees to shake so violently,
The pillars of sand beneath my feet dissolve back into the sea
And leave me bobbing for air like it isn’t free

And then a new moment hangs its noose around me
and tightens an iron grip around my throat
taunting “think fast kid, dead bodies don’t float”
But I can’t let go, so I just sit there and watch myself choke

And just when the oxygen no longer comes
A new moment claws its way down to the pit of my lungs
Digging up an old ladder with a new set of rungs

I’m still alive, right?
The wires are crossed, but they’re still clicking, the gears are still spinning, clock hands still ticking,
So why am I so incapable of winning?

Which moment am I living in?
Or maybe there’s not much difference between now and then

But before my mind and I can make amends
A new moment interrupts and begins it all again

Send help, dear friend.

I once saw a little bird.
It was shy at first, when I approached.
Stepping back with every step I took,
I could see my wishes fade.

I tried the next day and the day after
but the result didn't change.
Neither I nor the bird seemed to understand
each other.

After awhile I stopped.
I sat down and just smiled at it.
And as the days went on and on
I stopped thinking.

"You should have tried harder,
coming closer day by day", a friend said,
telling me I had given up in the middle,
leaving an opportunity, wasted.

Grateful for his advice I replied, that he was right.
I could have tried longer and could have pushed harder
and maybe one day I would have come closer
even close enough to catch this little guy.

"You se...", he wanted to say, when I interrupted him:
"... but you know", I calmly said, *"I just forgot about this bird,
because I had already found a friend to sit around and share
some beautiful moments together."

open.
OPen.
OPEN those beautiful blue eyes.
Take in the colors, the sights, the sounds, the lights, the people, the faces, the memories
because each moment only happens once.
You are helpless, unaware of all that you are capable of.
Any sound you make is a miracle to those that love you, but what happens when those that love you only pretend…
pretend to be who they should or want to be, but not who they really are.
pretend to love, to care, to share in your joys, sorrows, accomplishments, pains.

Your beautiful blue eyes are open, but now too wide.
You wish you could make the aperture smaller so you could take in the good, not the bad.
You find yourself wishing you could unsee the pain and the cruelness you did not think those that claimed they loved you were actually capable of.

Alas that once helpless baby you were has become an adult with eyes too wide open, seeing the ugliness first instead of the beauty.
God made a world of joy and we destroy it with pain, but we wouldn't know joy without sorrow and we wouldn't know surviving without actually living.
So take the leap, become someone new, embrace change, but along the way there will be pain,
but please remember everything because each second is a snapshot of you being present.
We don’t think about it but each second is a moment you can never take back. Ever.

Pain begins to become not only emotional, but physical as well.
The moments we hold so near and dear that define our existence begin to slip out of our hands like salt being scattered on a cool icy morning in a small Michigan town.
Eyes begin to flutter and hands begin to shake as loved ones become strangers.
As you close those beautiful blue eyes, the world begins to blur, breaths begin to become strained and slow.
You come to the realization that each moment you dreamed about, thought of, anticipated have happened and are over. Forever.
Breath comes in and exhales for a final time.
CLOSE those beautiful blue eyes.
CLose.
close.

You have no idea who I am
I'm a mystery
With moonlight in my shoes

Masquerading as a scarecrow
Always watching

I was lying in the dark
the floor was cold
the water pool marked
not only my clothes
but also the moment
in which this is told
the moment in wich
my small life got poled.
I was told it would burn my eyes
I was told to open them
but the gap I created
was not known to man
that liquid brought sharp pain
pain like acid tears, no like acid rain
hitting down my eye globe
whipping down my sight code
ripping down the kicking dawn
that was just my inside load.
Now I see a light tho'
I think, when I see fights, "go"
Because running  away from
day to day insn't right... no...

it happened once
upon a time

a place with a piano
   much wine
  & cozy talk
they left late
   tied in an amiable hug
heading for their separate quarters
   each knew
   the other shared
   with someone else

passing through the old library
she gently pulled him down
    upon a persian rug
    and lifted her skirts
    quite irresistibly

they melted in bliss

knowing it would happen
   only once
in their time

         * *

Innocence.
Laughter.
Adventure.
Kindness.
Achievement.
Disappoint­ment.
Victory.
Defeat.
Honor.
Strength.
Weakness.
Loneliness.
Con­nection.
Choice.
Paradox.
Change.
Beauty.
Pain.
Compassion.
Anger­.
Courage.
Fear.
Drama.
Joy.
Surrender.
Peace.

All of this is life.
Will you embrace it,
or hide until you meet your most real moment?