She was feeling
Hopeless
She was kneeling
Teary eyed, helpless
I stood at her side
Tried to match her stride
Make her feel not so alone
Then she told me; it was chilling to the bone

Oh mom
Please just stay calm
It's okay not to be okay
So listen to me when I say;

Mom, you're not the only one
You smile and you call me ***
Being the super-mom
Acting tough and calm
But inside you cry
You cry and you cry
And hey
Please listen to me when I say;

Mom, you're not the only one
You smile and you call me ***
Being so sweet
But remember the sand under your feet
The clouds in the sky
Birds passing by
And oh, don't forget
The sand castle and your daughters

Mom, you're not the only one
But get well soon
I'll be home
So just look at the moon
I'll see it too.

- Jay M
January 27th, 2020

Mom, you're not the only one.

I thought you loved her  
As we all should do    
Loving ones mummy, comes automatically    
Go ahead, say I love you too  
Yeah, Yeah, the bond is so strong  
   
But, I blew up like an atomic bomb  
I lost my lovin’ mom  
I stayed away for years  
And my letters never arrived    
Rubber stamped, ‘Return to Sender’
   
I miss my mother  
because the bond was once so strong    
I now realise my faults  
as some of you would understand  
Hope-Pray  
to reunite someday soon  
   
My love for my mama  
For our bond is still so strong  
The risk of exploding, it’s in everyone  
But never forget every lost soul  
Was once a lovin’ son.

you should've never become a mother

~haylin

if I told you
the "F" marked on my
birth certificate wasn't me
would you tell me how wrong
I am?
how I'm too young
to know or think something
like that?
if I told you I'd rather
flatten my chest
deepen my voice
shorten my hair
be called something
you think I'm not
how would that turn out?
I hope one day
I can tell you how I feel
without the fear or proof that
to you
I wouldn't be a child
playing dress up

It doesn’t feel like it but i hope you’re still watching over me
And if you are all I can hope is that you’re happy for me

I hope you can look past the drugs liquor and poison I take
I hope you can look past all the pain sadness and tears I shed
I hope you can look past all the sins I’ve committed

I never asked God for forgiveness because your name always took his place
I hope you forgive me mom
And I’m sure it’s hard for you
Watching me try to imagine what time spent with you would have been like
Trying to figure out what hugging you feels like
Dreaming of what your eyes hair and lips looked like

But that’s all it is right? Just a dream
All I can do is dream of you tucking me in bed
All I can do is dream of what your warmth and comfort feels like
All I can do is dream of what crying on your shoulder feels like
At least that’s all I can dream and wish for when I’m crying alone in my room without you

Do you love me mom
I hope you wish as hard as I do to look eye to eye for the first time
Because since the day I was born, that's all I’ve ever wanted
I know I am not worth much, but I hope you can still be proud of me
Please be proud of me mom
Please be proud of me

My mother calls out,
Carry me; I need you to take me home.
I'm only three years old
I can barely walk on my own
I shoulder her hands, bigger than my face
I slip and slide on the ice, afraid to fall
I can handle bruises and scrapes
But not if mommy falls too
Gritted baby teeth, frozen tears on cheeks
I rip off the fluffy pink coat, it's too hot
Is she helping at all?
The front door seems too far away
Just a little further, I'll be home soon
Then I can let go, maybe grow, and get up the courage to say
(someday)
I don't need you, like you needed me
I've walked a steep path and now I'm stronger
I will not carry you any longer

people say that from up above you can hear,
but what if all i want and need is for you to be near.
so i can get angry and upset one last time,
so that i can hold onto you and write you one last rhyme.
if you're not around in my life anymore,
how can i heal from the pain that's in my heart at its core.
how can i talk to someone who isn't there,
if you won't answer and i only see those lifeless eyes stare.
you're in an abyss, a place unknown,
and god only knows if you're trying to find your way back home.
i know, i know, you won't be coming back,
but the feeling of having no mother is starting to make my heart crack.