I can no longer breathe
The air which kept me alive
Is now but carbon dioxide
Burning my lungs to ash

I fear what is to come
I fear what has happened
I fear what is happening
But most of all I fear not having you

My state of mind has gotten so bad
That the simple task of eating
Is making me sick
I don’t know how much longer I can go on

My heart maybe stone now
But that doesn’t mean I can’t feel anything
The pain that was there already
Is trapped inside

It’s spiraling out of control
Pushing me to the verge of destruction
The meds I take are no longer working
And I fear going to sleep

For when I try
I can’t sleep for long
I wake a few moments later
Terrified for my life

These night terrors are getting worse
And it’s so hard to look past them
There’s darkness all around
Destroying me from inside out

Ever slowly the winds do change
I become numb to everything
Hoping for a change
For you to return

But honestly I feel
That I am holding on
To a pipe dream
That will never come true

My heart cries out
My soul bleeds for you
It feels like I will die
From just one more *****

I hope for you to see
The damage that has been done
So maybe you will understand
What I’m going through

So take the time to listen
Don’t interrupt or run
Cause in order for me to get through this
I have to be honest with you

Some people view internal pain as a joke
But what they don't realize is if left unchecked
That pain can become external and hurt even worse
Like right now I feel like I'm having a stroke

Though I know it's nothing that serious
It hurts just the same
Feeling the numbness and burning
All around my heart

Gripping it so tightly
That my lungs start to collapse
My breathing begins to hasten
As my chest compacts within

Clawing at my chest
I begin to rip skin
Hoping that the pain
Will soon end

But sadly it doesn't
And I start to panic
Grabbing the closest sharp object
And slicing across my wrists

The pain subsides for a time
As the blood trickles down my arms
Feeling the sting as the air brushes the wounds
Causes a temporary fix to the sorrow I feel

Though I know it's not a good thing to do
I can't do anything else
Cause I made a promise to him
That he would never come home to a dead body

So I sit here staring at the crimson lines
Tears filling up my eyes
As the fog over
Hoping for time to rewind

Burn the walls
Turn to ice
Feel the cold
Take the beat

Heart slows down
Steal the last breath
Destroy the love
Of a tender heart

Eat the fragile
Rip the silence
Howling sharply
Echoing to the moon

Listen to the beat
Of the tender hearts song
As it slowly ends
Dying the last time

Ice turns blue
Creating cold fire
Incinerating the heart
To a smoky ash pile

my regrets are as vast as the ocean
as far as the eyes can see
as deep as the undiscovered dark
i have been drowning in them lately
and it has rained as i tried to swim ashore
i cannot find safe harbor
no island in sight
they told me the lighthouse was working
but here underwater
all i see is darkness
lately i've been wondering
why i wrecked my own ship
i guess i will have to die here
in a sea of monsters and storms
in an ocean of my own misery