I am back,
And very happy for that,
To resume my work long neglected,
Yet these pages and vioces here,
Full of depression and negativity!
Oh jeez, I have my work cut out for me!
Let this then be a Declaration!
To make those sighs and grunts go away,
This I vow to do today.

Miss independent
So beautiful, so fly
You say you don't need anybody?
We all know that's a lie

We respect what you bring
To the table,
You took the initiative to support and provide for yourself, because you can will and are able

But girl, don't assume that a man with limited finances isn't worth your time
He may not have a jet, three cars, but he's willing to invest his time

He may not be Bill gates, making billions everyday
But If he goes out if his way to make you happy
You'd be dumb not to let him stay

So miss independent
Before you say that men are worthless, shiftless and not worth the time
Stop listening to your bitter single friends, and try to change your state of mind

Nature of things do not change
Even things do not change
It’s the mindset that changes
It’s the way in which we think, the approach
The way of doing things that changes
Over a period of time thinking changes
Thinking changes from present generation to the next
From one generation to another

Definitely nature of things has never changed
It has remained constant for over a period of time
A long time has gone by since the nature of things has not changed

When a shadow of doubt gets raised in the mind
There is an uncertainty about something followed by confusion
When each of these things become a part of routine
Then at that point of time,
Then during that time
Everything becomes extremely difficult,
Difficult to decide,
Decide upon as to the proper line of action, which needs to be taken
Difficult since thoughts are not stable and neither settled.

Agreed and accepted
The fact that over a period of time nature of things change
Definitely because the next generation has it’s own set of thoughts
Thoughts different from prior generation
A generation gap is always there, it remains
Enabling the previous changes to be incorporated and accepted in the present.

Definitely over a period of time things do change.

Dear Victoria,
Where did you go?
Why did you leave me?
My heart has gone cold.

Dear Mindset,
Why did you come?
You tell me I'm worthless,
Useless and dumb.

Dear Victoria,
I need you back,
Without you I do things,
My soul's turning black.

Dear Mindset,
You've changed this child,
You've broke my jawline,
And stole my smile.

Dear Victoria,
Right now, I am lost,
I'm confused, worried, doubtful,
My wrists pay the cost.

Dear Mindset,
You've ruined my life,
It was you who told me,
That salvation was in the knife.
It was you who began my now grand addiction.
   Thank you so much,
   Love Victoria x

I feel lost at times,
Like I'm losing my mind
Everybody else letting loose,
**** dropping, pill popping
'*****' on pelvis grinds
Joint sharing, sniffing ******* lines
Unemployed but still no one has time
Everyone is commited,
But nobody knows why.

I feel lost because
The education system taught us
Mathematics, English
And a bunch of other stuff
But not how to apply for a job
Behave in an interview or
Maintain and mindset
That actually gives a ****
How our voting system works,
Whether we elect our leaders
Or if the system is really corrupt
So was it enough?

It's funny that I can sit here and say
that my life is something, when I was lazy today.
I stayed inside, watched a movie or two
Cried my eyes out, feeling rather blue.
But after it was over, reality came back
and I realized that I... hadn't done jack.
Sure, I had felt, I had feared, I had wished,
I had procrastinated, and stuck up my fist.
In today's world, however, what does it mean
if you're not an athlete or mathlete; you're just unseen
Unseen because you have blocked yourself completely out
from the world, from danger, from the coming drought
of people who  actually cared about others
and not just their next Friday night lovers.
Can I call myself accomplished at  high
when all I've done is weasel my way by?
Using the bare minimum of my brain power.
Waisting little energy staying up for hours.
I've been lazy.
I AM lazy.
But should that validate anything I've done?
Should I waste away a life that's only just begun?
Or should I stop being lazy, here and today,
turn off the device, take a look around at... May?
That's the month, isn't it so?
I can't remember, do you even know?
I have been stuck in a grave mindset
that blocks out every responsibility or threat;
but I think I should awake
and see the world for it's mistakes
yet still embrace it 's wit
and never ever never quit.
I'm lazy, yes, but I can make my life something.
Because after all, we all started as nothing.

From everyone you talk to
you say you want the truth
yet when I demand it from you
you vehemently refuse.

Does the rule only apply
to others but not to you?
If so, why bother imposing
if you don’t follow it too?

How can there be order
if this is what you do?
If anything, it’s insane!
That, can’t you deduce?

If you really value truth
then you must be, yourself,
practising such honesty
in every story you tell.

For the longest time I have avoided everything and anything that could potentially cause me stress or heartache. I have forfeited all of my potential in this pursuit. Wound my way around every which way, detour and diversion in a futile attempt to defer the inevitable and now I find myself at a dead end; without a friend.
Diverted my attention to ease any tension, but the constant detour, the long way round leaves a man weary; weary in waiting. Increasing the tension, the anxiety and the depression. Decreasing the fun, the happiness, the opportunity to be content! Because it's not a con, not really. It's a state that I could cross into absent of barriers if they weren't of my own making. No AK's line those gates, no watchful eyes or suspicious minds. Just an imagination creating a nation in its own image ; MY OWN MARRED IMAGINATION perceiving shadows as threats. But shadows they are and shadows they remain, shadows that grow in size and engulf me as I run further and further away. But shadows are only casts of the man; they do not exist without the being. Shadows have been cast but shadows may also be cast out; they are nothing without their maker.

I request a dance,
though I am not very good.
I tend to stumble, I have no rhythm.
Maybe I should just retire to reading books.

What could possible entrance me enough to go away,
with someone who fell in love with me?
Will it be captivating eyes or hypnotizing charm
that pulls me back every time a pull away?
Maybe someday I will know.

I am often left speechless by the things people say.
The words drip off their tongues as thick as cement or a smooth as milk.
Every lie and every truth, all said the same.
Stumbling or slick, others engulf it.
I love to listen to the words they say.

Sometimes I wish I could **** a man.
Or a woman, I don't discriminate.
To feel the blood on my hands would be lovely.
After, I would probably weep.

These things I think prance in my mind.
One thought devouring another.
The process of how I think is my own.
But you can join me on my journey of whatnot.