so effing hot today

my skin melting
fat crackling
muscles sizzling
flesh evaporating
bones cracking
skeleton crumbling
burning down
to glowing embers

even my ashes echoing
lamenting the heat

It's a candle slowly having its wax melting and falling silently on a cold wooden floor
With each drop I come a step closer to the door.
And if it keeps on burning the same way it's burning now,
I'll go in and out the window until I hit the ground.
When the candle has its last little piece burnt
I'll be long gone and my body will be cold
And when there's nothing left out of the candle
I'll be long forgotten by all the people that promised  they'll remember.

Resentment and anger, hurt and despair,
Loss of a hope that is no longer there,
Suddenly recognize you’ve grown apart,
Some of the feelings that will freeze a heart.

When pain is worse than not feeling at all,
Love at your door but you won’t heed its call,
Deny your feelings—you won’t be controlled,
You give it all up and make your heart cold.

You harden your heart to keep the pain out,
Emotions are things you’ll just do without,
You’re frozen and it seems small sacrifice,
You think you’re safer if you turn to ice.

You need to embrace the pain in your way,
Process those feelings and cry them away,
Trying to be icy cold is faulty,
Melting your pain is why tears are salty.

Nothing I do matters
I toil and toil away
But nothing I do matters

I am forever replaceable
Forever flawed
Forever scrutinized by society

I melt, fill a different mold
Yet the scrutiny continues  
I melt again  
Scrutiny persists  

How many more times should I melt?
Fill a different mold
Before I surrender
To the unforgiving scrutiny?