Darling,
I've been obsessed with drawing entwined hands to hold close the feeling your fingers left in the spaces between mine but somehow I can't ever get it right on paper because I used to hate holding hands like that until I fell in love with the curve of your cheek and the echo of your laughter and now any other way feels all wrong just like everything else that I once shared with you and I will never hold another hand the way you once held mine until the color of your eyes and the smell on your skin has faded from my memory but even I know that's a lie because you made me this way and now I can never go back to the way I was even to forget you but I'll pretend and I hope it's true because I want to forget the ache I felt whenever I saw you with her and I hope for my sake that day is not as distant as it seems now because you will never feel the burning in your chest that I get so often that sometimes I forget it's even there until late at night when I dream of you and can hide these tears no longer as you sleep safe and sound the way I always wanted you to in the wrong bed but I guess that's just the way love is and maybe one day you will remember me and realize that all along I was trying to tell you but I was never brave enough and now it is too late and I just wish I could have found the way to show you that all the stars could fall from the sky and I wouldn't notice because in my heart your smile shines brighter than the sun and all the fire in the world could never make me stop loving you and I hope one day as you lie in the dark before sleep takes you a fond memory of me comes to mind and you wonder what ever happened to me but that's a lie too because I only have enough hope left to hope you love me too someday.
My darling, my love, my premier downfall. I'll always love you, at least until I die. This one sentence is everything I wish I could tell you, and I wish I had the confidence to send you this out-of-love letter, but it would only make things worse.
