If you cannot let go of your past, you won't be able to embrace the future. I wrote this one for a boy whom I used to like a lot.

May you live for another 70 years
like your grandmother
May you influence young people,
inspiring them to follow their dreams
May you help thousands of people,
making them happy
May you eat all those Indonesian food
you like most
May you see a sky with five billion stars with
someone you love (someone is not me)
like your friend who visited Greece
May you get wrinkled, inked and loved.

I will keep you in my heart.
Goodbye.

2018.12.19

With hair of a million spider legs-
Eyes with irises like Saturn's looping ring,
She sings and begs to differ my good morning;

Her tachy tic toc steps scraping the pavement
as the brady day fades
and sun strings in, washes away all that ever was

and I'm caught here in the stasis between sleep,dream
   and being
where morning is neither a blessing nor an omen...

Night's alone, i am cold as the breeze between
Skeleten and steel chain,

But with you near, time goes by gentler,
it is easy to be in the other's company,
Held and holding,both pretending we arent insane

Until
Boredom's hegemony sets in and rocks us asleep;

And what a joy-- to be linked,two minds complete by dreaming softly of the other.

let's sail,
Find strength in the wind.
Dream on the ship, I want to be carefree.

We could soar in their disbelief
but I already know you're not the one.
Why am I wasting my time,
Again.
I'm being lazy in love,
far too impatient..

love is an illusion, a mirage, ephemeral, fragile, evaporating at the slightest hint of reality, hard to find, easy to receive, difficult to accept unconditionally, in a world of romantic reverie

i am most anxious, when in love, fear falling from grace, being rejected, abandoned by yet another, reinforcing my self perception of being ugly

love is what i most i desire, the one thing i can not get, won’t allow myself, knowing the price to play, the emotional toll to pay, in the aftermath

endlessly chasing a fairy tale, one day waking up bitter, as the reality is too harsh and arduous to endure

i feel, know, that i am disposable like a paper handkerchief, used once, i will be thrown away. i am temporary, short lived, a luxury at best, never really needed, knowing there is a long list of suitors, when you tire of me

how do i trust, intertwine, taste your tears, knowing this is momentary, a study in futility, i retreat from reality, create a fantasy, a perfect world on my screen, eschew the flesh and blood in front of me

I baked a cake,
For my boyfriend's  sake,
He never came,
His excuses always lame.
So I took it to old people's home,
With eager smiles we were welcomed.
The chocolate chip cake with biscuit,
Was a hit,
The oldies loved it.
The smiles and joy on their faces,
Soothed my disheartened  heart in several places.
There are many in this world who need me and appreciate my effort,
I decided to let go of the relationship,
The other could not keep.
26/7/2019