Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
Sarah Flynn Oct 2020
I'm mad at you
and I don't want
to be mad at you.

but at the same time,
I'm not mad enough.
I should be angrier.

there have always been
gaps in my memory,
places where my trauma
nibbled away until the
memories were useless.

you knew this.

I have spent years of
my life trying to recover,
trying to patch up
the holes in my memory.

I lost my entire childhood.
I spent all of it trying to
remember what my brain
wanted me to forget.

I have cried and hurt
and panicked and once,
I even tried to give up.

for most of my life,
I have hated myself
and harmed myself.

you knew this.

you knew how badly
this ****** up my life.

you even tried comforting me,
giving me brotherly speeches
and advice that I took to heart.

I trusted you.
for all of these years,
I have trusted you.

the memories came back.
I haven't slept in six days.
I am being slowly destroyed
by my own mind, and
I don't know how to stop it.

you were there that night.
I ran to your room and
I banged on the door
and you opened it,
and I told you everything.

you were the voice
in the bathroom with me,
helping me undress
and assessing my injuries.

you knew what happened,
and you said nothing.

I know you were young,
and I know that this has
traumatized both of us.

but you were old enough
to remember everything.

you remember the
blood stains and the
fear in my eyes and
how I barely knew what
had happened to me.

I understand why you
didn't say anything
on that night all of
those years ago,

but why didn't you
say anything when
I was older and you saw
how it shattered me?

I almost killed myself
trying to remember
what you already knew.

this is my body.
that was my trauma.
those were my memories.

you knew this whole time.
you knew everything.
you ******* knew,
and you said nothing.

why did you say nothing?
why didn't you tell me?

I just need to know.
why didn't you tell me?

why did you keep this
locked inside of your brain
while mine desperately
searched to find it?

how could you?
I trusted you.

and this whole time,
you already knew.
Nylee Feb 2017
I hate when the my thoughts go there
And I sit and stare
I hate when I get tempted to do that
And I do and regret
I hate when I do not feel content
As I  haven't  lived a sad life.
I hate when I do not know what I resent
But that feeling controls my life
I hate to see that I am not what I wanted to be
mark soltero Oct 2020
sins of the past
linger about
i’m sure they’ll evaporate
after we consummate
or maybe they won’t
But i need to know
Jackson Bussey Oct 2020
My most complex
Terrifying
Heartbreaking thoughts
Are always followed
by a question,
You know?
vega Oct 2020
ready steady
hit the clutch
i’ve got your greed
you’ve got my guts

ready steady
please me dim
please you sober
displeased again

ready steady
back and forth
know thyself
more than thy worth

ready steady
hit and touch
bruised and blue-lipped
unlove too much.
Every thought I sow
Continues to grow
And the end result
Seems simple to know

Every thought in mind
Produces in kind
I can clearly see
The divine design

An apple’s small seed
Grows apples indeed
And thoughts of one “type”
To more they will lead

A seed, like a thought
Is tiny, but not
Inconsequential
With faith, both are sought

I’ll think just the best
And bypass the rest
By divine design
I will remain blessed
This is Prosperity Poem 91 at ProsperityPoems.com and you can see it displayed on a beautiful background (copy and paste the link below). https://prosperitypoems.com/delivery91DivineDesign.html
You can sign up for free weekly delivery of poems at Prosperity Poems (.com)

Seeds amaze me!  I love gardening and growing all types of plant and trees.  Right now I'm saving peach pits from all of the peaches we are eating from our yard.  Each pit contains literal instructions on how to build a peach tree and ripe peaches using just water, sunlight, and soil.  Our thoughts are seeds also and they produce after their "kind".  My peach pits won't grow apples - that's just contrary to Divine Design.

We can use this understanding of seeds, thoughts, and Divine Design to increase our manifesting skills.  Learning how to create with your mind is an important part of why YOU are here on earth at this time.
Ken Pepiton Sep 2020
Past the last of the acidity, augmented by the fire two valleys west…
woke to wonder where am I to aim
my self
My being me being made of all roles I ever play

Today, is marked a day in a week in a month and year
on a spreadsheet maintained
by several orders of attitude HR magnitude, cults of clerks, used
minds and bodies, stacked in edified
piles…

as quanta of thought, bits of ever left in now as hints,
things to come are made of ever lasting stuff,
word of truth, my self is sworn to tell,

test me if I lie.
But {but, but} in thy mercy, not thy wrath lest I perish
and only id, or another ******-enomen for evers what was, remains
a role, an act, remaining after the ocean of opinions I was on evaporates,
after I am evilized as egoically selfish,
I,
my self, too highly thought of,
for far too long a time.

Yes, {yes, yes} that, too, has passed, re
do the re,
there we were awakened, with a Jolt Cola realization,
life is a game,
we make up, as children can, if you recall
the child you were when thinking as a child may, at play.

This is the day we form a man in the realm of self I am
and, if you take my word as truth,

you take the ability to sponder, eh? First, you ask, re
is the author authorized to utter truths hid
since the foundation of realit-ifity, as we
imagine
in preparation, for the game, Life,
but not the Milton- Bradley version, this
2020 Life on Earth.
The game. Made plain, a board game.
The self, aware of teachers standing silent, but prepared.
Ask, and, truly, as if true, answers appear.

Choose. Do. {winning loss of confusion points, line by line}
Rules and Regulations,
Scepter and Orb,
Rod and Staff,
Crook and Flail, same-same seen signs of higher power…

long ago, far away, prior to these tools we use, you read
I wrote,
we imagined, in our minds visual mode, we see as if true,
a we we may be if we agree,
and
follow the hold of the symbols of power,
respect the symbols, look once more re-see the revealed,
veiled since God knows when, but {yes, yes}
more knowable now than ever,
that which fell to the earth,
sowed light. That's right… here come d' judge.

If I find a little light, and in my mind, I let - let it go - let,
until the letters be taken out of the way
and meaning forms from informative
matters of fact, impossible.

Ah, Jah, ya *** old and feeble, after a while.
So it seems, says the weigher of any word's worth,

accounted for idolized words, holy, sacred, secret troothz…

abound, Bounce bounce tic
to Rube Goldberg goes the metaphoric prize, proof.

Plan the action, pre-form the plan, practical failure, of course,
is unthinkable after careful thought,
critical thinking and un-come-on skepticism of sophist teknhe.

****, up in smoke.
All the attention ever paid to any single thought,
shhhh shushing in the cold, absence of heat,

too cool to live, longer.
Pop.

Turn the page, scroll the screen, ignore the parts of reality
behind your focus forward receptor circuitry
winding round and round,
past at most fears sold at half the attention cost.

Pay hell for your wish, or accept the fuel to fire up one
thought candle in the flicking arena,
I think I am visible,
I feel lucified.

I can kick the ball, I know, this time…

Ah, Charlie Brown, your social significance is history.
Echos, formed from yes-t'day, blended with an OKGO binge followed by boyos dis--cursing Zatrathustra.
Simran pawar Jul 2020
You never know ,
How they put a smile on their face,
And our bitter words,
hurt them even further.
They become more alone,
When we don't want to,
understand what they say,
And this feeling hurts a lot.

You never know,
How they sleep at night ,
How they suppresses their thoughts,
And questioning their will to wake-up.

You never know ,
How they put their words in a poem,
That they feels good,
But People don't like that either.
Just be good , show kindness might makes the things easier for them.
Next page