I feel as though I wade through the sickly gait
of butter
mind cast deep into the sea,
searching for a coast covered in fog
barely able to make out
the craggy blades of rock
of that world I forgot

It is imprisoning,
stuck aboard a cork of reality
suspended above a chasm of inconsequentiality
that dives unfathomable below
into sickly dark secrets of dreams and
excitable interactive equations
that lead me towards some inevitability

Maybe this is the special sauce,
that radioactivity
that racks my skull
pushes me beyond the world
and into the dreamland of poets

"Dream, dream until you sleep,"
but I have so much to see,
someone to meet,
you told me!
Why lie?
Why die!?

Maybe its all unreal
maybe its all a sheen
a fake shear curtain
so thin,
impossible to see

White and fuzzy and tickly
down my spine
my lower back
my spleen
my scrotal sack
its everywhere
and I don't know what you are
God, help me

I am getting angry
devil is taking the wheel
and wants to drive me off a cliff
or into some abyss
of mind
and I want to let it
I want to be normal again
only a week ago
maybe never
but my god when do we ever feel healthy?

I haven't seen a soul I love
in far too many days
sinful attitude pushing me deep into the drift
and current events that carry me
into pools of vengeful rage
Take me out deep
among those glittering distant seas
Guide me into salvation
to comfort beyond sleep

Kawasaki revving on a long 5 *******
screaming pipe, watching from behind
a beautiful carousel of red and blue
flashing between my eyes

All along these tired roads
between the wandering streams cutting daily into the sediment
eroding the trust of those ancient riverbanks
exposing the bodies laid to dust

Those great crackling xylophones
marimba of memory and curdled blood
Screaming now, cracking between the gunshots
like bones
Souls forever past it

No forgiveness, no chance
No indictment on a ruddy road

I fall off my bike, skid a mile or two
feel the deep earth grind my skin,
tempting me with heat and a sweet goodbye
a challenge I'll never win

I skid past the officer in a ditch,
hole in his head and a clipboard ripped in two
Poor man, back with the sediment
wrapped in a carpet of beige and mud
all we've ever done

I'm not sure what I'd have said
As I slid past on my way to death
where the Appalachia slammed into Africa
saying we were all in this together
once before
as dinosaurs

So how are we any different then?

Bunch of stardust
and Sediment
Acting like winners
and consumed by lust
for dust and rocks
a part of us
Leading back our dark descent

Kawasaki flips and implodes in a ball of combustibles
behind me the sky explodes into red
and fire of passion deep in our star
of hearts, I know we'll all be the same then
empty of body, devoid of toys
stripped of lies, those knowledgeable clothes
and return to perfect Eden
where dirt and earth are us,
and dust we discriminate
obliterate into the neverend

Tremendous pressure
    Between two trees
The pressures of autumn
    Which crinkles the fallen, forgotten, leaves
    And cry beneath our feet
As we grind them slowly back to the earth
    Unknowingly, she knows
    And drinks it all in
Like a summers mead

I believe in the Sun even when it isn’t shining
I believe in Love even when I am alone
I believe in Happiness even when the world is crying
I believe in the Lord even when it seems I’m on my own
I believe in tomorrow even when I feel like tonight will never end
I believe in all these things because they always come back again
For every dark night, there’s an even brighter day
For every hollow path is a more fulfilling way
In every dark cloud, you can find a silver lining
So I keep my faith, and my faith keeps me grinding
Against the icy metal, like the rose that grew
From concrete, with its scratched and hardened petals
When no one in the world was here to love me
I held my head to the sky above me
And I was happy because I kept my faith

I notice the way
lovers linger at each other
for two seconds longer
and how
you mumble along to that tune
escaping from your right earbud.
The gallery cafe holds
artists in a room full of art
and I feel as if I'm
interrupting something
special
here.
I'd frozen that expression
portrayed by his features-
glowing when she'd
waltzed in;
tucked it into my bursting pocket as another stolen moment
and I think
love
is a funny thing.
Untouched
yet experienced
and I wonder why he
had eyes for her
and how long they'd last
or how he'd chosen
that particular song;
lyrics involuntarily memorized
for what other reason than fondness;
or how after knowing someone for longer than your memory can recall
that the creases in their index finger
is as familiar as the back of your hand;
so can all these emotions
overflowing with
serotonin and
caffeine,
dopamine and
adrenaline
be classified as love?
I think it can.

// Is this a milestone or ongoing progress? //

You see a lot of girls talking about their insecurities
But hardly any boys speak about theirs
It’s like we’re simply not allowed
Like it’s a rule that you can’t be open about your feelings
Well I am
I’m one of the few boys who are
I’m comfortable enough to talk about my uncomfort
And there’s a lot of it
Some boys can relate to girl problems
I relate to them all
I bleed every month
I’m uncomfortable with a lot of my body
I feel feelings
Everyone feels feelings
Girls are encouraged to talk about them
But what about us boys?
Can’t we be sensitive?
Because some boys are insecure
And we need to express it

They're scared
You know who
It's the monsters
This is true

Watch them suffer
Smile more
They deserve it
Watch blood pour

Don't be scared
It's their fault
There was peace
We were taught

It is gone
Yes it is
They took it
They are wrong

So they burn
Like they should
No one lives
There's no good