They never spoke again,
I have waited a year and a half,
I have reached out time and again,
But there comes a time when enough is enough.

I cannot force them back into my life,
Cannot force them to utter just one more word,
I will always love them just the same,
But their silence causes so much pain.

It feels like a whole population died,
Been wiped clean off the Earth;
And knowing in reality so many think I lied,
Just makes me want to run away and hide.

I cannot do anymore than I have,
I have forgiven them for how they treated me,
I completely understand the culture, though its sad,
I cannot go back and change what happened to me.

I miss them dearly,
I think about them every day,
I think about the pain I caused them,
Now in my history they will forever stay.

I long to have contact with cousins,
Aunties, Uncles, and friends,
But I know this will never happen,
And I will likely never see them again.

Its all so mixed up in my mind,
The events that caused me to be singled out,
If id had the choice, I would have gone to court,
Because then I would have less doubts.

I am disturbed by memories,
And also by the suicidal hanging,
And knowing that my people,
See me at fault for everything.

It makes me feel ***** and ashamed,
That I, and the other women are still blamed,
And for what is it that we have done?
To be born as "women" is all we have done.

Kevin, Maisie, Clare, Anna,
Eileen, Rita, Peter, Barbara,
Candice, Kerry, Alex, Teeny,
Susan, Wendy, Dennis, and Jelly...

Those names are so very few
Of the huge number of relatives I have,
I still remember the day at the refuge,
When you turned me away - even that made me so sad.

If it were not for South African women,
Running the refuge out of sight out of mind,
Then there would be nowhere for Island women,
Nowhere to turn, yet these women were so kind.

But I know the rest of you still look down on me,
As you no doubt look down on many others,
And what did we do to deserve this?
To be born as women; in that you are so disgusted.

Disgusted with me for questioning abuse,
For speaking out for the others,
Disgusted that I have broken the "silence",
For women are not to be "free", I have discovered.

For if women are to be "free" - then they must be alone,
Discarded by all and everyone,
For "causing you pain",
For "shaming the Island's name".

I still love you -
And always will,
You hold a special place in my heart,
That no one else can fill.

.....I was born a woman - entering this World having already committed the crime....and for that I am sorry.

With so much passion coursing through his body
a spark of the unpredictable
shot out from his fingertips
Words he couldn't form with his lips
now took shape with each stroke of the pen
Few pieces of papers tore in agony
as each pages endured the abuse he so far believed in
Haunted..
traumatized by a past
and saddened
by an unexpected outcome of his own doings
he aggressively wrote a song about a hellish present
an awful unforgivable treatment
from a woman he thought was hope

He felt imprisoned
Everyday she'd remind him of the harsh reality he lived in
robbed him off his freedom
soon his own identity
his future
and left him to wallow up with regret
depression and insanity

This was his TRUTH
It was everything he had ever known
Ever learned
Ever taught
It was only natural to dream
For something different
Something Better
But the unfortunate
Seemed to have attached itself onto his shoulders
He became blinded with his desire to live
So afraid to die
He'd grown desperate
to breathe an air he longed to breathe

His truth however, was a LIE
A lie that broke hearts
A lie that brought doubts into the minds of children
A lie that placed families
under hateful eyes of scrutiny
Families not of his

The Truth he wrote
The truth he convinced himself to believe in
The Truth he kept singing to another woman
was given to him by a mother
A mother he'd forever love
A mother he'd never forget
A mother he'd learn to forgive
But no longer his home
no longer where his mind may run to
for a day's rest

He left as a grown man in search
of a new start
A new home
A new love

But came here as a child
Throwing tantrums
and lost counts
of the many more baffling demands
in need of a new playground
Here he could never find happiness
For the woman who bothered to take him in
Could never be who he wanted
She was not who he dreamed of
Through his eyes
He saw no thread of beauty
No future
But just an island mother
Imprisoned by a vast ocean of isolation
Here, he could never find happiness
What man could ever?
When his heart was already set for another
But despite of his animosity towards Mother Isle
Despite his lies
Of which distressed her families
With shame
Heartache
Stress
Challenging their island pride
Isolation was her peace and purity

He will come to know life as they had
her children will show him what it meant
to be part of an island family
Her children will teach him
what they were taught;
Her children will share his pain
his distress
considerate of his situation
A feeling of empathy, if not sympathy.

They'd stretch their boundaries for him
They'd bend their rules
Gave him privileges only her children
were entitled to have...
They'd do
Only what they were able
If it may ease his troubled mind

Last but not the least

Her children will
Protect
Her children will Defend
We will honor our Mother Isle
As any child would
Our own way

The Nauruan Way