I've become this
   plain Jane person
Melted into a crowd of
   lost souls
Drained from passions, dreams,
   & individuality
A subject of America
   land of the free
      Home of the NAIVE
to think this is "living"
   to waste 100 years
      never "living"
for objects, &
   replaceable trinkets
Not seeing the uncreated
   memories & unbiased truth
what it is to me was
   more than a nine to 5
but instead I am stagnant
   glazed into the layers
      upon layers of white
   coffee mugs & ceramic

You're not yourself if you're not alone

In depths of my unfathomable psyche
Submerged I find myself floating around in the ‘shallow’ societal sea of our world.
Oh but it is not ‘shallow’ you’ll see
It is a deep blue ocean that withholds great mystery;
& those who see it as ‘shallow’
Are only those who stand in clouds of constant oblivion; Ceasing the inhale of beauty, intellect, and individuality.
In the depths of my unfathomable psyche
Throughout every passing day
I observe, I listen, and I take into account the things that are done and said by every individual person I come across.
Now here I sit, in the complete abduction of the beautiful, yet merciless monster called insomnia, without fail of corse accompanied by her sister solitude;
& I reflect.
In the depths of my unfathomable psyche
I realize that in order to best express the realization of my reflection…
I must let my walls down; so I will.
And now that I have…
The word to describe the feeling that takes over ‘me’ in this very moment is one that acquires the ability to depict ones exact feelings in a way I do not obtain.
In the depths of my unfathomable psyche
I feel lonely because I know that the odds of me meeting someone as insane as me are slight; yet I feel appreciative because I couldn’t imagine possessing such an ugly, close minded, and indifferent insight.
I feel a type of sadness that could only emerge from a person that fears never getting to experience the comfort that comes from acceptance; yet i feel overwhelming excitement and longing in the midst of my hopeless romantic type daydream of the possibility that I will find my somebody that does not seek to comprehend or figure me out but will accept ever corner and color I currently am and everything I have yet to become
I feel pitty for the average;
Yes I am not sane
Yes I am not average
And yes the depths of my true thoughts I have not learned to control; but my insanity is and will always be the fuel to my potential.

Everyone’s dead.
But yet some dead are alive.
They become spectators
And stand motionless as life passes by.
They’re the shores of the ocean
Eaten away by the waves,
They’re the leaves of the autumn
Influenced easily to find shelter far, far away.
They’re the rays of the sun
That disappear at night,
But then, they become the darkness
That reminds me of the blindness of their own sight.
Torn apart by forces
they try to find their soul
on a game of hide and seek
they struggle to become one of their own.
They try not to betray themselves
by making sounds in silence
they try to allure the proud white moon
and meekly learn how they can emit some of its brightness

Here we go again
Back and forth about the flaws I need to mend
Just because I tend to enjoy the thought of my end
And that I'm always dressed in black when I'm out with my friends
You sit there and wonder what could've happened
to that boy oh so happy
Now a lover of anarchy and a hater of society
How grandmother do you see such beauty in conformity?
Have you taken into consideration this reality?
The idea of order and balance is rapidly
Turning into a travesty
Because of mankind's brutality
and false sense of morality
There's vanity and inhumanity
Against ones own sexuality
And people have the audacity
to critically antagonize those for their God given nationality
While this wonderful country
Goes further intro bankruptcy
So continue to live your keen little fantasy
That we are all living happily and equally
Your views have such opacity
That I can see right through your irrationality
And your thinning mentality
So please continue to criticize me
Please provide some amnesty
Don't listen to me I'm just crazy
Remember? You can't trust me because everything I say is blasphemy
So excuse my insanity
And allow me to gulp down these pills so carefully
Not to take more than I should be
And I'll just vegetate amongst people like a cavity
An outcast to your perfect **society

It's raining, it's storming
The tools are conforming
Society will be the death of me
Please pills, don't let me wake in the morning
It's sleeting, it's snowing
Their plastic smiles are glowing
Put your make up on, dignity gone
Make sure your "made in China" tag isn't showing
Its windy, the sun is shining!
Their ignorance is blinding!
No hope for mankind, I've lost my mind
There is no silver lining

I want to be my own universe
Mold the way the stars shine
Allow lost souls to come and be loved
Align the way the moons orbit
Ban bad thoughts that consume the human mind
Bring in the murky milky way
Cut off the toxic air that creates these profound feelings of hatred and sorrow
I want to be my own universe

-Susan

You’d think that with all the things I say
I would have no proble­m with expression
But that’s never been my truth at all
The truth­ is that I twist and I stumble
And I fall and I tumble
Then I spe­ak (in mumbles) something like words
I say what I know and think ­what I say
But I don’t say what I think
I could blame situations ­or people
I could, and I wouldn’t be wrong
I also wouldn’t be ver­y right
I’m always scared to think that somehow
I’m being severel­y misunderstood
And even more frightened of losing time
Half­-exp­laining something important
Before I’ve lost the listening ear
By­ the time I am done worrying
I’ve completely lost them, regardles­s
And usually my own attention as well
So I make more friends tha­n necessary
To greatly increase this chance
Of finding any listen­ing ear
For anytime that I choose to speak
Upon matters most impo­rtant to me
This plan has yet to work, though
Magically, they all­ disappear
At the flip of a switch, in which case I
Do nothing. A­bsolutely nothing.
And yet, I’m fine, it’s just my life’s way
I’m­ sure it’s my fault to begin with
For who else can I really blame­?
No one notices or cares, right?
So why even worry or bother?
My­ heart has chosen to be troubled
That’s enough reason for me
Even­ if no one else gives a ****
It is what keeps me unique