I Don't Want to Fight Anymore

I don't want to fight with you
anymore.

I am just projecting
the ugly tangled thoughts
that plague my mind.

It's easier to make you hurt
than to feel it myself.

It's easier to access the ugly
than embrace the beautiful.

Most of the time,
it's easier to just hate you
instead of give you the love
you so deserve.

this time, i'm going to defy the fates. i will be yours, even if you won't be mine. i'll give you my heart, and I know it's not in the fates' list of fated but you will receive it. i apologize to the one that's destined to me; you can have me in our next lifetime because this time, i'm going to break the rules. that's the ******* extent of my love for you--i'm willing to sacrifice every **** of my life because you had me with the twinkle of your eyes and that's enough compensation for the damage its reflection caused. i know for a fact that you've broken a lot of rules but let me be the rule that will break itself for you.

I'm a Sheep
I Sheep and I'm proud

I can't live alone
Alone *****
Plus...m Not built like that
M not meant to be
So I flock with my other sheep
I dare you to try get me with squad

I get lost
You gone tell me you don't?
Never?
Not once?
Well I do.
Either mentally or physically.
So I follow, though sometimes I lead.
It's easier going with plots already began.
We get further, than starting from humble beginnings.

I keeps my rams on the down low
And my ewes updated
Wherever, However, Whenever
We got that social
And we quick with it

I hear you hate
I see you fronting
I might even taste your envy
I won't react... thats a bad touch
Might give me a bad smell
I'm to have more sense

I does what others do
To learn to be unique
I goes where others went
To find new places
I eat like the rest
To learn new tastes

In short I Sheep
I sheep to be different.
Don't you?

INT. WILL'S HOUSE - NIGHT

Andrew walked inside of his best friend Will's house, carrying a six pack of Stella, and moved to the beer-pong table, where Lauren and Erica were playing with Daniel and Marcus. The girls turned to face Andrew and Erica mumbled something to Lauren. Lauren laughed and nodded. Andrew hoped she wasn't laughing at him, but when he saw her smiling at him, that was when he knew he would end up falling in love with her. Well maybe not in love with her, but he hoped he would at least get to know her. He took off his jacket and set it aside on the couch next to Will and Carrie. Will looked slimmer than usual, his arms skinny, and his clothes baggy on him. He didn't like seeing his friend look like a stick-figure, but he didn't really know how to approach the subject. Instead, he hugged him and felt Will's skin and bones, wondering how long could his friend go on like this.

ANDREW
Will, wanna get next game?

Will considered it for a moment and shook his head.

WILL
I would man, but I'm feeling pretty tired. Going to take a dab in a minute, you want one?

ANDREW
Ha, not tonight man, I got to drive back home after this.

Andrew turned around and caught Lauren staring at him. She looked away and shot the ping-pong ball into one of the red solo cups. All Andrew knew about Lauren was that she moved here from Florida. She was here for the summer, perhaps longer. She was good friends with Will's girlfriend Carrie, but Carrie had told him the other day over Facebook chat, that Lauren was talking to some guy named Peter back in Florida. Good for me, he thought. He wanted to be single for a while, but there was something uncanny about Lauren that drew him in closer to the pong table. She was wearing a black cardigan and a white blouse underneath with jean shorts and flats--typical NOVA ****, but he sensed she was deeper than her appearance. She had blue eyes, blue as the sky in the current summer month of July.

ANDREW
Hey do you guys mind if I get next game?

Erica looked at Lauren. And she looked back at Erica and shrugged.

LAUREN
Are you good?

ANDREW
I can be.

Lauren considered him for a moment.

LAUREN
Great to hear. You and Erica are going to go against me and Daniel. Cool?

ANDREW
Yeah that's cool.

Andrew found a spot next to Erica and stood beside her, high-fiving her.

ERICA
Don't worry about Lauren, she's just super competitive.

ANDREW
Let's show them some competition then.

Am I brave enough?
Am I strong enough?
To follow the desire
That burns from within
To push away my fear
To stand where I'm afraid
I am through with this
Cuz I am more than this
I promise to myself
Alone and no one else
My flame is rising higher

I am the fire.

If my God sacrificed
   His only Son for
   A manwhore like I,

Why should I be
   Unwilling to lay down
   My life for His glory?

I pray to die a death
   That will have His name
   Upon my lips when I
   Speak my last words.

I am but a lone man
   Rebellious in flesh
   Aloft in my desires.

Almighty I pray;
   Clean my heart
   With Your Spirit.