I am the wall in my path,
The feeling that i'll never get to where i want to be.
The possibility that maybe I will never be very special at all,
Never help people,
Never influence.
Maybe you and I will part one day,
And i will be free to live up to my thoughts.
Because this is a never ending circle
And what you do is holding me back.
Back from the soft breathing,
And floating, freeing notion of light,
And thoughts
And lasting wonders of contentment.

God I'm so proud of you
You found the things that you want
I hope she's beautiful
And I hope she cares
If I know you at all
Which I know I do
You'll give them everything
Everything you gave to me
Last night you said we
And my heart broke
But swelled just as quickly
With joy
With regret
With pride
I hope it's everything baby
You deserve everything

How many times
Have I dressed up I'm sorry
Passed blame onto different parts of myself
Pieces of who I am
Juggling reasons
Motivations behind my mistakes
How many frightened goodbye's
Please don't leave me's
I'll always love you's
Have graced your tired ears
Remember when I broke you
Once
Twice
Then again
It used to taste so sweet
That first mending kiss
The one that sewed us back together
Our present, our future
Now there's a tear
That can
But won't be mended
So once again
I'm sorry
Not for the usual things
The ones I can fix
But for the things that I can't
Like you
And like me
The spaces in between

I'm so glad you found me again,
As we embrace, my loving man,
In our imaginations, a million years,
Happy memories and not one tear,
Maybe we're both out of time and space,
Our talents have come from another place,
Adam leads Eve across centuries,
So, this is what you mean to me, finally,
As we kiss, entwining, loving man.....
I'm so glad you found me again.

Hello, I'm invisible,
From my thoughts,
Indivisible,
Essence I sought,
Hello, I'm invisible, a wraith,
Being invisible can be great,
Round corners I can see,
I am quite imaginary,
I travel all over for free,
Being invisible rates,
Hello, I'm invisible. Great!

She's everything I'm not
She's everything you want

And
She's everything
I'll never be

But
Despite that

She's everything
I need to be

Because
My everything
You'll always be

I  miss my innocence,

I miss not understanding,

I miss ignorance.

Once upon a time,

I knew very little,

and I was happy.

Once upon a time,

I feared ignorance,

because I knew I possessed it,

and I was happy.

Once upon a time,

I loved,

and lost,

and it made me,

unhappy.

I'm at a loss for words
when I do talk it's wrong
When I don't say anything
I should

I should show my feelings more but when I do
I get shamed
It's all my fault
I need to stop crying
I cry too much
But the pain in my chest is too sharp
to feel without tears filling my eyes

try gAsping for air when your lungs have collapsed
and then tell me again it's my fault
that I can't breathe

lately i've been spending nights awake and days asleep
because i'm unreliable. the night time is quiet and
at four in the morning almost everybody's asleep so i can
spend my time in solitude and sometimes my thoughts get dark
sometimes i hurt the people closest to me but not on purpose
sometimes my mental health speaks for me in a way that i can't
quite explain but you can count on me sleeping through all the
alarms that i set before we meet at the mall to get coffee that
i don't even want because caffeine makes me throw up but
i miss the outside world and i'm sick of my bed but when i leave
i just want to be curled up in a ball underneath a pile of blankets
and asleep, a million miles away in dreamland, the closest
i will ever get to outer space because i'm not really good at science
and i barely passed grade eleven math but in my dreams i can
kiss the stars and i can fly, i can travel through time
sometimes the dreams turn into nightmares
sometimes they get too real
sometimes they last for too long
my subconscious doesn't trust you to say the least because you're
always in my dreams, hurting me in the worst ways possible
and maybe i haven't quite forgiven you yet for all the things you have
put me through, despite my various attempts to move on
there's a bitter hatred that curls around your name whenever it
tears through my throat, rotting my teeth and turning my tongue
dark black but it's only because you weren't wrong when you said
soulmates are real, you are mine and i might not be yours but
i will never be able to forget the way you made me feel and
my days on this earth feel limited, i could die anytime i fall asleep
but i'm no different than anyone else, our probabilities of death
are all the same. it's one hundred percent guaranteed to happen
and the only people that know what happens after you die are
the dead and unless you've got a dead friend willing to share the
answers with you, i don't really know how to get the answer to that
question unless i **** myself but i haven't decided just yet if knowing
the answer is better than living, would you take the blue pill or the
red pill? do you live your life knowing nothing you do matters because
at the end of the day, you're going to be forgotten in a thousand years
anyways and no one will even remember your name and i've always
hated my name so i often ask myself, why not just get a head start?
cons: there are people on this earth that i care about, and who care
about me. there are things i have yet to experience and things i've
never seen. things i've never touched, smelled, heard, or touched.
i've always believed in fate
but lately i've been thinking i took the wrong path