I had a nightmare you weren't with me anymore. I woke up in a panic, and you were at my door.
Told me that you loved me and you had to leave. My nightmare became reality in the seams.  


I cried for days when you were gone, my tears became a ocean of sadness. I tried and tried to forget your eyes, but all I remember were the sweet times.

I tried to forget and I tried to hide, the feelings I felt deep inside.

Day by day I walk down this sidewalk.
Always alone.
Excluding the one time someone walked with me.

We walked down the side walk together.
Something had happened earlier and we had to get away from it all.
Everything is going to be okay I told her.
Just breath.

Never again did she walk the lonely sidewalk with me again.
Instead she began walking with a different friend.
Back to the old times.
Back to walking alone.

Anger, sadness, depression, pain...
All those emotions swept over me.
When you actually care they never see.
See how much you cared for them.
You mean absolutely nothing in the long run.
So now I sit in the darkness of my house.
Tripping on the shadows I see.
Actually listening to the voices.
Cut yourself.
The scream.
Take a pill.
Take another.
And another.
Till you finally fall into a deep sleep.
When you can't sleep at night
Just take pills.
They help.
Help a hell of a lot better than the voices.
Just
Take
A
P
I
L
L
Then feel numb

This house of hyperbole,
Does defy credulity,
Let's all exaggerate,
Aim to manipulate,
"I shall love you infinitely!"
Sounds a normal hyperbole,
"I never got over you!"
Am  I am a drama mama too?
You want me and need me,
But you don't love me,
Is that called two out of three?
Or more hyperbole?
Why answer such questions?
I'm always open to your suggestions,
As usual for you and me,
In this house of hyperbole........

Tell me it isn't hard
When your heart is lying on the floor
In a puddle of pain.

Tell me it isn't hard
When everything feels hopeless
When everything in your life is falling apart
Piece by shattered piece.

Tell me it isn't hard
When you spend every single night
With a pillow pulled to your face
To hide the sobs that cut through the air.

Tell me it isn't hard
When your heart is aching
For that one person.

Tell me it isn't hard
When you miss me.

Day by Day the phone calls come,
Day by Day the knocks come on my door,
The Hounds have been released,
Baying for blood,
Baying for the liquid green blood they call theres,
Baying for my hard work,
Baying for the liquid green that i harvested,
That i Worked for,
The Pencil pushing hounds have been released.

Day by day the hounding comes.

Do not trust boys
who kiss you in your drive way.
If they can't make it to the front door
there must be something wrong.

I have had many first kisses in my driveway
and every boy that has given me one
has turned out sour.
Do not trust boys who kiss you in your drive way.

If they are too lazy to walk the extra ten feet to your front door
then they are most likely too lazy to walk
the extra mile in a relationship.
Effort is key my friend.

I cannot bare to stand in my driveway.
Memories come flooding in
from this boy and that.
Do not trust boys that kiss you in your driveway.
Trust me on that.

You broke my heart
      When you broke up with me

You shattered my heart
       When you got with her

You threw away my heart
       When you lied to him

Now I stood at the back of this old church. See you cry with all the intensity and emotions. You look divine in that suit. The air is filled
with the smell of roses. White ones.

You're doing the happy cry once more. I told you it
doesn't suit you one bit, but I will let you have it this time.

I can feel the weight of your stare from across this vast space of pastel colors, of ribbons with intricate details, of highly decorated pews, of slow murmurs of the guests half of which we barely know - your stare means, This is it, it is finally happening. I know your hands are clammy, you feel like your heart is going to jump out of your throat any moment. Hold yourself together, sweet love. It will be official soon enough.

Pachebel Canon is now being played softly on the piano, as if on cue, all the murmurs stopped, it was replaced by ooohs and ahhhs. I noticed the guests are as excited as you. I could very well feel the welling up of jumbled emotions inside me.

She looked perfect. She looked every bit of a happy girl marrying her dream guy - the love of my life.

And my heart plummets to this bottomless abyss of sadness.
Today you will be marrying her. Today you are no longer mine. Today you looked your happiest, and maybe that will be enough for me.

You loved me before, I love you now, I guess timing and chances will never rhyme.