T.

The end is near
Because everyone seems to be so lonely
The years have passed so slowly
Somebody must show me
That I must believe
But I don't believe in life
I don't believe in love
I don't believe in you.


I will not live without you near me
My love can not fit inside these words
Because it didn't have to be this way
Words will never express anything
The wounds are in my mind.

A prayer whispered from a child's lips brought out of fear from a little one's heart.
For hopes that her father will beat her mother tonight instead of her.
Curled up in the corner of her closet apologizing over and over for her selfishness.
The screams from outside her door drowning her innocence in despair and fear that tomorrow it might be her turn.
The man who made her call him "Dad" had completely broken down her mother and every other woman who came into his life.
He made them all believe that they are nothing without him and without him they have nothing.
Financial, spiritual, mental and physical *******.
To the women who came around just to leave, leave her with him.
Too afraid to speak up, afraid for their lives.
The lies he filled her head with the first 13 years of her precious life. The man who helped bring her into this world just to make her hate it the most.
The blood on his fists and his breath in her ears.
"You're mine till you're 18."

My leg hurts

The jaws of this inhumane trap engulf my lower shin

I have the tool to disarm it and free myself

But I muttle in my adolescent egocentric pain

Caught within monotonous routine and self interest I rot like my peers

I've sunk to a level of self loathing, that I enjoy pulling myself down

I

Am

Disgusting.

I

Need

Help.

I cry for things I can give myself but alas I withhold it to feel sorry for myself

Me and my fellow youth

Equally as useful, equally as useless

Although I am free of the crowd I am still blinded by my adolescence

Purpose

Interest

Intellect

Great-fullness

Peacefulness

Gen­erosity

Love

PURPOSE

all I've know is I am here to be a vessel for knowledge and indoctrination

I am here to have an opinion I voice, but does not matter.

I do not matter.

This function is welded to me

However...

The voice of destiny reasons with me again and I hear:

Seek what's within

Garrot it.

Place yourself into the walls of meaning and the murals upon't

Serve others in selflessness. Share with others in selflessness. Learn from others in selflessness. Teach others in selflessness.

Your a pawn in the samsara. Do your duty within its game.

Gain higher consciousness so you can share the path to it. Become a giver, not a taker.

Interest

Intellect

Great-fullness

Peacefulness

Genero­sity

Love

Six lessons left, define yourself within them. Or perish within your self indulgent pitiful hole.

I hate myself

so please dont try to convince me

I'm worth it

Because no matter what

I'm my worst enemy

And I'd never lie to myself by saying

I shouldnt have self hatred

So I promise you that I will always remember

That I'm the epitome of my mistakes

And nothing you say will make me think

I still deserve a happy life

Because no matter what

I'm not good enough for people

And I will never believe that

I'm good enough for anyone

Because whenever I look at my reflection I think

Have I ever deserved a happy life?