It’s been said that old habits die hard
But how hard do I need to try
To make this old habit die?
The lengths I’ve gone to
In order to forsake you
The conclusion I have come to
This habit won’t die till I do

teaching is tough
and rough
and cruel

where even some
feel like a fool.

ironic yes, and surely so!
but might i ask
and wont you know?

perhaps you won’t
thats fine with i!

but how come -
teachers want to
cry?

I severed
ties
and all I have
to give you
is a band aid
to stop the
bleeding
for I am robbed
of all my
FIRST AID KIT
of affection

As I write this poem,
Barrelling toward me are
College applications and
Dual enrollment classes.
Everybody dreads it but
For most of my life, I anticipated
Going to school with the
Hectic excitement that comes from
Imagination only a child can have.
Just like every year since
Kindergarten, I seriously
Lack confidence in
My ability to do what I
Need to do in order to
Overachieve as expected, but unlike
Previous years, I
Quiver with exhaustion earned by
Regurgitating information about
Systems that I will never
Truly need, but am tested on.
Useless, useless, useless,
Very, so very useless is how
We feel now, both the lessons and I.
Xanthan complexion, nauseous, nervous,
Yellow like the school buses I want to
Zap away, but climb aboard anyway.

You may find it hard sometimes
to see the forest for the trees.
And you may get frustrated
if you ask why things happen
the way they do.
Because sometimes,
there just aren't good answers. And that can make you feel powerless.
But I hope you'll find peace, strength, power, and most of all, hope, when you realize you can't change what happens,
but you can choose
what you do next.

i ain't crying, no, no sir,not me
no tears streaming down my face
no quivering voice, no trembling chin
i am steel, unyielding, unbroken

i ain't crying,no sir,not a single drop
no sorrow staining my cheeks
no heartache echoing in my chest
i am stone, immovable, unshaken

i ain't crying, don't you see?
no weakness in my eyes, no surrender
no surrender to the pain, the hurt
i am fire, burning, consuming

i ain't crying, not now, not ever
no matter the weight on my shoulders
no matter the battles fought and lost
i am warrior, fierce, indomitable

i ain't crying, for tears are for the weak
they may fall like rain, but not from me
i'll stand tall, head held high
i am resilience, unyielding, unbroken

i ain't crying, i refuse to let it show
for within me lies a strength untamed
a spirit unbreakable, a heart unbeaten
i am defiance, unwavering, unbeatable

i ain't crying, and that's my truth
no matter what life may throw my way
i'll rise above, unburdened by sorrow
for i am unbreakable, and i ain't crying.