I loved you so much

so much so I couldn't

have myself back

until the moment

I have noticed

that the one I loved

it wasn't a real you

but was another of you

If numb was a colour
It would be clear
As empty as an addicts bottle.
But still there
If numb was a taste
It would be like taking a spoon full of poison
Paralysed at first touch
If numb was a feeling
It would be as cold as winters night.
If numb was a smell
It would be the lingering smell of warm humanity.
If numb was a sound, It would be as quiet as an empty class.

is my body gravitating down,
or levitating up?

either way my body
is out of control,
and I'm stuck in the middle
trying to figure out
where my feelings for you
is taking me