Here I am again
cycling through with this ******
life
ready to feel despair
with all the regret in the world.

Lightspeed.

Concessions since made
As hearts coincide
A flash in the eyes
And it'll end fine

You're not in the wrong
Not sure If I am
But it's never much
We rise with the tides

Everything moves in chaotic motion
The more things stay the same
Sometimes I try
But I never find the right words to say
If we don't see the light tomorrow
If you don't come out the same
I hope you recover
And keep your will to change

I always feel your words glow
If I'm asleep or not, I don't want to know
In losing, I only hope that it starts to show
This structural integrity

I'm still awake
I'm scared to die
Scared of all the little deaths
That come with change
Am I in the wrong?
It was just a mistake
Like everyone makes
Or so they say

I wish I knew
when I first met you
how much I’d hate
not having you.

The years went by
and your memory drifted
but now your one
of my biggest wishes.

Claw a bit closer to me
Embrace my malevolent ability
This will help you feel a reality

You feel so safe without wonder
But pine for authenticity
As you rot inundated by false benevolence
You live in such gleaming
It’s insanity

I’ll pluck you from this numbness
By fogging your false sun with a dismal filter
And I’ll *******

I am not what you expected?!
I am not what you wanted?!
I am truth. What you pine for idiot
I am tonic
I will make you feel something real

You’re scared of such a fiend
Only because you smolder in this apathetic medium

I’ll make you uncomfortable
I’ll make you feel like ****
A relief from your dystopian existence
This dissonance will wake you from your slumber

You will gulp from my malice
It will quench your thirst for authenticity
You will feel emotion
You will feel hatred
You will feel bitter sadness
You shall no longer be vestal like your peers

After I deflower you of such “innocence”
You will no longer mime false emotions
You will venerate happiness
You will cherish sympathy
Because you’ve been uncomfortable
And you’ve been in vacuous darkness

You like darkness.
You need it.
It makes the light more dear to you
In fact.
It illustrates your reality with such a fine and tenacious brush
That if it were replaced. You’d be blinded by the blurry falsity it leaves in its absence

For the sake of reformation
Don’t return to ingesting insipid entertainment
Don’t return to experiencing life through media
Digest honest art. Not pretentious art.
Not dull art either
You’ll live much happier

And I won’t have to violate you again my lamb

I'm dreaming about being the king of many of my enemy's.
But I doubt someone can even be their king, because why would someone want to be responsible for their stupidity.

I’ve gone and done
something dumb
again
you can’t love me,
but what if
you do?
you look at me,
I *******
crumble
your eyes on me
making me
want you
knowing I won’t have you
probably not ever
now I’ll sit in my car
I’ll pretend forever
you want me too

You are flirtatious Ludus and I'm dumb
I can't understand your moves
So I think you don't love me
Sometimes I feel that you love me
I am confused!

Hello again
How are you?
Thanks for meeting me again
It feels like old times
Thanks for inviting me back into your life
Thanks for showing me your new self
I'm glad I was able to show you mine
I'm glad we were able to laugh like old times
When it was just you making fun of me
When it was me sending sarcasm your way
When we pushed all the bad demons away
To be dumb and young together
Before we diverge into the big bad world

My dumb tears are the retort to your moronity
for I regret the moment of slumping in your unloved arms.
©shadeofalonely_girl