One more drink before I go,

Then I'll stagger nice and slow,

And maybe fall or maybe not,

Boy I think I've drunk a lot.

I prefer to lose the grip of me
and my being would traverse
to the brain I made my home in
my little universe

But to lose the touch of this
which I hold so dear
and the only thing which promised me
that would be permanently here

My memory is lacking
and my system is rewriting
my thoughts are the one
which I really should be fighting

I know I know,
You are my friend, dear *****
But I really want to put a stop

A stop to this abuse.

I want to be happy,
but the world is dark enough.
I want to be healthy,
but I'm still too fat.
I want to fill myself with life,
but I just keep smoking my lungs black.
I want to hold your hand,
but this bottle is the only thing I've got.
I want to be free,
but I'm in love with these chains.
I want to be forgiven,
but I keep making mistakes.
I want to be talented,
but I only create mess.
I don't want to feel all this pain,
but I'm chemically messed up.
I don't want to forget
but I keep drinking the night away.
I don't want all this blue,
but what else can I do?
I don't want to hurt myself,
but I feel this is all I deserve.
I don't want to hide anymore,
but I'm locked in the darkness.
I don't want to get burned,
but I like playing with fire.
I don't want to stay,
I'd like to learn how to fly away.
I want to set myself on fire to burn bright,
but it won't stop pouring.
I want it to stop,
but the clock still does that 'tick tock'.

My heart pours
smooth like a
fine red wine,

And I scowl and
scamper for a
glass in the night,

So it can land so
safely and surely
for consumption.

But someone always
drinks it so fast
with no remorse.

And it was I
who poured it.
I allowed it
to be drunk.

I will love you when your ship has sunk
I will love you when you're in a funk
You only love me when you're drunk

I will love you when your wallet's shrunk
I will love you when you've lost your *****
You only love me when you're drunk

So have a shot, have a drink
chug it down without a wink
Have a keg, have a bottle
Drink it down until you throttle

Just get wasted, just get crunked
You only love me when you're drunk

Oh baby I can tell
You've got that self destructive
Streak in you

You like to drink hard liquor
Without any chasers
Smoke too many cigarettes
And dip if you're offered
You'll try any drug
At least once
But marijuana and Molly
Are your favorites.

Staying sober isn't on your agenda
Because when you're intoxicated
Life is a blur, a movie

Your tumblr is littered
With too skinny girls
Who you wished you looked like
And pictures of
******* **** and *****
Are every other repost
And inbetween them are soft little
Poems about being alone
Or being in love

And you've never felt so empty

The sun was shining brightly
My eyes could not adjust
My eyelids were not working
My eyeballs felt like rust

The night before was over
But, still it lingered on
A new day was beginning
And yesterday was gone

I can't tell you just what happened
Where I went, or what I did
That memory was missing
It had all but gone and hid

Was my mind just in denial
Hiding thoughts within my brain
Or was it just that all this drinking
Was slowly driving me insane

I would wake up tasting yesterday
In a place I did not know
Sometimes with another person
Looking for a way to go

The sunshine could be painful
Reminding me a day had passed
I just never could remember
The thoughts would leave so fast

Maybe it was self protection
But, if I bet, I'd say...it's not
I know I went out  drinking
But just how much, or really...what

Tonight, I'll repeat all  my actions
It's just a habit, I can't break
There's no way to fight this devil
There's more than just my soul at stake

The devil drives my ride now
He sitcks around, just for a while
But. I know he's in the darkness
Watching his work with a smile

The sunshine hurts my skin now
My eyes are squinted shut
In my head I hear the rumble
Of empty blackness in my gut

Another day of sorrow
I just can't change the way I live
The devil takes from deep inside me
And what he takes...I freely give

One day, I'll wake up sober
I'll remember all I have done
But, if I don't survive the battle
Can someone please turn off the sun?

She’s hot and wet when she greets me in the morning,
I know of no better way to wake up.
And when I need her she is always there,
She fills my loving cup.

It is an affair that has been going on for years,
And she will continue to comfort when I’m old.
When I am down she perks me up,
She warms me when I am cold.

Dark and bold she comes to me,
More beautiful than any sunrise.
Like a gypsy with her magic charms,
She has the power to open tired eyes.

Though some folks may criticize her,
Pointing out her mother’s a Columbian nut.
And yes, those South Americans are a bit hot-blooded,
But I just smile and say “So what?”

For coffee and I are partners in life,
From her I will never stray.
And should anyone try to get between us,
They will surely rue the day.

10-01-15.