Dreams of dawn keep waking me,
I'm going on another spree,
of taking a path that's not worn down,
I've been faking the math and turning it around.

I don't want to go, but I know, that life is so.
I don't want to go, with the flow, they move too slow.

Dreams of dawn keep waking me,
with a yawn and shaking constantly.
Feeling ill and dreading the sun,
so I'll take a pill but it's not the only one.

I don't want to go, but I know, life is so.
I don't want to go, the wind's can blow, I'll hide from the snow.
I don't want to go, but I know, life is so.
I don't want go, I'm feeling low, I'm no swan but a crow.

Dreams of dawn are waking me,
I'll be a pawn along with society.
Too much work for too little of pay,
my knees will **** but my feet will stay.

I don't want to go, but I know, life is so.
I don't want to go, I'll never grow, if this world's a foe.
I don't want to go, but I know, life is so.
I don't want to go, march in a row, and feel the tow.
I don't want to go, but I know, life is so.
I don't want to go, don't make me, no, there won't be a show.

The feeling of no hope.
Just wishful distress.

Trapped in silence, burdened by loud thoughts I hesitate to express.

Suffer in silence a friend once said.
Verbalized then cauterized with dread.

I want to be free.
But these chains bring me to my knees.

In the mirror someone new stands.
Broken compared to the man beforehand.

and suddenly time stops
after weeks and weeks of moving too fast
the stillness makes my head spin
or maybe you make my head spin
because there you are
a friend of a friend
standing in the living room
had it been my living room
i'd have asked you to leave
our history was crashing around
inside of my skull
a ricocheting bullet i didn't know how to stop
as it were
all i could do was stand there
statue still in the doorway
frozen in time
your silhouette blurred against
the afternoon sunlight streaming in
through the window
and i stared for moment after long moment
wanting
wishing
needing you to be someone else
and just like in all my bad dreams
when i scrounged up the courage to greet you
your face fell into an expressionless mask
our eyes barely met
your irises the same shade
as the coffee that holds my eyes open every morning
and nothing fell from your mouth
i tried hard not to feel anything
i know you were as terrified as me

I've been stairing at my ceiling above my bed,
My thoughts are swarming in my head,
These demons for some untold reasons seem to always want me dead,
Please let me sleep instead!!

There was a time
I opened my computer in highschool
Searching my browser for you-tube for the first time.
I opened the website for U2
The band.

It was not for another month I discovered the video search engine that is so engrained into our culture today.

I saw a 5 year old navigating you-tube today.
They were watching a cat be abused and giggling.

I wonder when curiosity died.
Perhaps after it killed the cat.

Platinum tusks of fur heaping in front of me
Guide me down a path
Which I conceal with maple leaves
As I walk down the jarred path
It leads to a bed of flowers
Covered in a blanket of gold

I am numb, drunk of greed and rage
yet it alleviates my pain
I take seat
My senses tingle as the aromas linger
The incessant perfume, ever so piercing
Caressing my nostrils

I regain consciousness
however, memory crannies obstruct
as these final words echo through my brain

Mellow rustling was heard in the distance, I look around
A wolf on the prowl met my eye as we converse
Without talking
For the gander we took at each other spoke many words.
We remained in silence, but I understood
I stood up and followed

As if we were floating
The elegance of each step taken was riveting
Leaves dancing around me, performing their ballet
Moving seamlessly along with the wind
Of which I felt neither

I followed it past the withered remnants of branches and trees
Critters scatter amongst the landscape
A truly idyllic experience
As it stops at a lake - it is violet
For a moment, the illusion of beauty got the better of me
As I stand and gaze aimlessly in the distance

I take notice around me
Nothing
I stare in the water
The sky is dull, sepia tones
Thunderstruck, darkness
I awaken

In front of me lies but a carcass and rotten flesh
Amongst a bed of thorns
I lost connection

Revalualating...
Booting...

In the silence a noise approaches my ear
I look around. Darkness
Any scream for help is responded to with silence

Rebooting...

Bludgeoned puppets with broken smiles
Guide me down a path, disintegrating,
Once before, vivid colours dulled
Once before, nature rose and defied
The might of the earth, blooming in the sun
It reeks of pollen, I sway
The sense of disgust fills my nose
As visions and visions filled my head

A candle light
My vision clouds



Nothing