GIRL, DO STAND STILL FOR A WHILE, PLEASE

It's the wind, I'm rocking in the wind

HEAR! HEAR!

Have a look, my grains are blown by the wind

THERE'S NO NEED TO FANCY YOURSELF, PLEASE

I don't fancy anything!

YOU DO, YOU ARE BEING VERY TALL

Sometimes I'm rather tall indeed

HIGH WINDS BLOW ON HIGH HILLS, DID YOU FEEL IT?

It sang in my ears. Ssssssss…..

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL. PLEASE DO AGAIN

Ssssssss….. Help! The wind broke me!

GIRL I HEAR CRACKS IN THE WIND. IS THAT YOU?

Help!

GIRL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING, PLEASE?

The wind quakes me

PLEASE DO!

It's said that the longer you try to keep something away, the deeper it's impression has on you. I fell even harder this time. I wasn't sure if this was love or guilt, it kept me at bay - it felt the same.

The first day i ever loved her, must have been or perhaps should have been the day i cherish the most; instead, it became the day that trips me over and shoves me deep into a pit of sorrow and guilt. I can't seem to get out of it. I hurt the only love of my life.

Call me depressed, maniac or just a socially awkward ****, it doesn't matter, the day i made her cry all over again, caused her pain - I became all of it.

Not only did I deprive her of all the happiness and laughter she deserved, but I also filled her with doubt, distress and hatred. I birthed Pain which cripled me with anxiety and hopelessness. As a parent it should have been my duty to look after her, but my anguished soul abandoned her. I didn't dare think about how it must have terrorised her, yet when I look at her, seeking mercy, I see her pretty face, scarred by my pathetic self: laughing, hiding too much behind that pretty smile.

If only I could make her happy. If only I could look after her without fragmenting her soul even more.

I’m all out of tears
They’ve dried through the years
I thought they were a sign of weakness
Yet I continue to portray my meekness
In surrender, I close my eyes to pray
Even still the end may never go my way
Pain and loneliness overflow within me
If you hand me a rope, I’d gladly find a tree
The sound of distress breaks through my emptiness
There is no other topic I feel compelled to address

He was tired of his whole life
Every breath he took killed him at a time
And each of it felt like a debt on his life,
In the darkness he followed the only source of light,
In the way he collided with himself whom he had lost in a while,
Talked with him for the whole long night,and
Listened that One must strive to find his own voice,
We are not kite that just moves when someone guide,
We need to find a way inside
that connects our heart to the world outside,
Be a maverick and sail against the tide,
Hold your ground and Dont carry the burden of lie,
Nobody should hinder his life just by working to survive
Never deny the passion of your life,
one must not disguise by following other's intent of life,
And the longer you will wait to rise, the far it  would go from your sight.

I left your letters in tatters,
but do not distress.
Your every word
burned my eyes,
like a bedroom wall
too close to candlelight.
They will survive,
a life living on
well after your demise.

-
by Aleksander Mielnikow | Alek the Poet

What am I to love
About my being
If you aren’t there
To provide
My needed support?

Shall I just continue
And try to love
In this void
that bleeds me,
Leaving me
Cracked and empty?

Or shall I cease as well,
And have you by my side in hell?

Why can I not accept the hand
that you hold out so readily
when I am descending into a black void,
taking with it my incentive to go on?

Why is it I will fight with you,
push you away, and make you feel
as if I no longer want you to stand by my side
when truthfully I want nothing more than for you to stay?

Why, when I am all alone
and I'm longing to reach out
I stop, dead in my tracks to scared
for the rejection I have received too many times?

Why is it that I can lend myself to you
in your times of need so willingly,
knowing the benefits of having someone there,
but I cannot accept this help myself?

Is there something wrong with me,
or is the painful, blackness
just too enticing to some people...
some people like me?