Why do I push everything away
I can no longer keep this at bay
Pushing everyone out from my life
This torment of never feeling right

These shackles bringing me to my knees
I’ve built this prison and buried the key
If this was love it shouldn’t be killing me
Release me from the weight of this gravity

Awaken each day with a burning, aching pain within my chest, made from veins, bone and ******* flesh
What a sight to behold
As I watch this anguish unfold
Such a terrible mess
This is distress, at its best
Prisoner to this phobia
Confined to this hysteria
Walking alone fearing my own shadow
Never to know who i’ll become tomorrow

These shackles bringing me to my knees
I’ve built this prison and buried the key

Particles of mist fill the air
Looking through that painstaking glass
It’s me I see from the reflection on the flask
The sun rises as does my mask
Putting it all away, that underlying pain
Hidden away by a laugh and smile, no worry it’s only for a while

The horrors that surround me continues to unfold
“It’ll get better” is what I’m told
No one questions if it doesn’t
Leave me dead and bludgeoned

Numbing the pain through scarring limbs
Darkness grows near, the light becoming dim
My hope constantly wearing thin
When will I find pleasure ever again
The spite in myself is more than hate
Death has always been my fate

If this was love it shouldn’t be killing me
Release me from the weight of this gravity

I won’t waste your time with what goes on in my mind, because I’m slowly forgetting.
Forgetting everything one day at a time
Everyday feels the same, why do things have to be this way, a feeling of happiness never to be regained

Eyes have become hollow sockets
Lungs nothing more than air pockets
Heart empty filled with despair
Mind left with too much to bear

Overwhelming torture and discourse
Drowning every guilt with remorse
Nothing but bitterness and disgust
There’s no faith left to trust

I used to tell myself that I would never become someone else
But I should have told myself
I was going to be somebody

This world seemed so quiet when you were here
Now surrounded by static and noise
So again I find myself swimming to the bottom of the bottle just to block out all sound
Who have I become this time around

driving past the
dead grass
against the grey clouds
my heart turns to metal and
my lungs begin to deflate
as
i get farther from you
i feel the sick start to continue
without your scent to fill my head
and
with out your eyes to steal my dread
i become a boulder
rolling down a steep hill
to be a boulder is treacherous
i hit the small rocks
that
wreck my exterior
breaking off clumps
im losing pieces of myself again

its a mystery
of how you wrap me whole
of how you give me worth

my throat burns
from holding in the sobs

im electrified
when im given your attention
my metal heart melts and
becomes warm
while my lungs inflate with
what smells of sweet cedarwood
and sweat
your skin is hot against mine
and i love the tickle of your body hair
the moments where you squeeze me
are when
my entire being is awoken
shocks of energy
convulse my nerves
and i feel alive
you are my sun
because
without your warming rays
and without your light
i am left cold and blind

He thought he had a grip on life,
He thought he knew his place his Wife.
He thought he knew himself as well,
But when he met her all thoughts fell.

No longer did he know his Wife,
Too loose he’d held a grip on life.
And swept up by a younger spell,
That grip was broken by the swell.

Now swept away he looked around,
The younger spell could not be found.
He called he searched he tried in vain,
But hope and heart began to wane.

For she had gone this much he knew,
His head was fog his heart was blue.
He knew for him it wouldn’t be,
So he surrendered to the sea.

While I try to be the best
your expectations mount like Everest
Truly, I can never rest
before I die of all this stress
and no one will hear my distress

I lost myself while searching for others
The truth is the societal pressure
I never learnt how to be me in the world of demons craving for the bloodshed tears
I will improve to see if I can really be me
The change is so strong, to go back seems just so long. Maybe they would've groomed me to be brave, how could I ever fall of shame. Life is a mere game with no winners just flaws making us choose one over the other.

Shore up,
sure enough,
I'm coming for that ***.

Distress
gonna rest,
I'm coming for the soak.

That ***,
bare, backed up,
and we're coughing up smoke.

Always coughing smoke.
Always on the soak.

Holidays spent on countless charades,
Predicting all of your plays
And gauging all of your games.
You're driving me insane!

I'd much rather fry cheese on the moon-
Than see your face...
Anytime soon.
Oh how pointless life can be
When every reverie
Is infected by your dull surprise.

Condescensing looks descend
Into words written in books,
Like backhanded comments
Striking my face blue.
With you I'll never find paradise.

Now it's time to turn you off,
Beckon you with a drunken scoff
And eject you from my life.

Happiness is but a loved child
Lurking within the minds
Of the abused set free
To let their hearts run wild.