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XslyfoxX May 2020
Nothing ever seems to change.
Prayer after prayer and I'm exactly the same.
Scoffing at the idea that I'll ever be holy.

Ive emptied the contents of my stomach
while kneeling on the floor
As many times as I've been at the foot of a pulpit
But I'm still ******* up and my remorse just doesn't do it.

It's never been enough for me to change.

I confess,
I'm selfish and abusive
to my soul for my amusement.
Nothing ever seems to change.

Burn me alive for ten thousand years
and I'll never change.
My regrets haven't meant a thing.

I can't accept that I'm this selfish
but my heart isn't whole again.

Each person affected for my brief moment of pleasure.
Not joy, not love, not need. - Just pleasure.

I want to be better.
I swear I just don't know how.
Someone please show me how.
Because my prayers are bouncing off the shower walls.
the past couple years since I've written anything Ive been really testing my wife and her limits. Ive been accused of awful things and lost my job based on both correct and incorrect information. I'm spiraling and I'm ashamed of they way I've acted and treated loved ones and total strangers simply because I am selfish. This poem isn't necessarily intended to be my best work or even to be "good" by anyones opinion. It's the best way I know how to communicate the fact that I realize my past mistakes over the last 4 years and can't seem to shake the immaturity or the just awful, sinful, and evil nature in my heart. I wish I was a normal man with normal issues that I could hide, but being exposed and judged by people who used to respect me and I long to have a relationship with again has destroyed me. I don't want to be known for the things I'm known for by people I used to look at as brothers. I also don't want to be thought of the way I am by total strangers and people who I haven't spoken with in years. This is unfortunately what happens when I acted out in disgusting ways without considering the consequences it would have on my life and more importantly the people who I involved.
I don't think I even know what love is but:
I love you.
Clay Face Apr 2020
Third and complacent, viewing without frustration.
Repugnant observation, of known endangerment.

Your satisfaction of viewing pain,
Not halting someone of vain.
It’s simply interesting.
It entices me due to its sick nature.

Such a person, comes across as an animal.
Animals are beautiful behind glass.
But up close with no such division, animals are vile.
The smell, brutality, and just their nature, disgusts civilized people.

Just like you.

You sat behind that glass. Watching me. Till the end. Through glass like an animal.
Now the glass is gone and you’ve revealed yourself.
You should realize you’ve been the animal all along.
Clay Face Mar 2020
The hate you keep inside won’t help you float.
But you cling to it, so below you.

Push it under you, to get above the waves.
But eventually the swell will drag you to hell.

Cling to it so below you.
It’s weight will stretch your arms.
Drag you down.

Down into the undertow. Against progress.
So vile, repugnant and insipid. You rot.
Your fingernails leave scars on hate.
You cling to it so.
But shout opposed to such accusation.

Now low enough the crash of the waves blind you.
Squinting through their spray, you struggle.
Treading in denial as you try to pull your hate to breast.

I’d reach out to you, if your hate wouldn’t drag us down together.
And we’d be clinging to something so below you.
A Jan 2020
I am:
Disturbed
Cheap
Narcissistic
Selfish
Lost
Stupid
Worthless
Un­attractive
Inadequate
Boring
A mistake
Ugly
Useless
Dreadful

Maybe. But I'm still your wife. And I DO love you.
It's effortless.
MisfitOfSociety Dec 2019
Venus of the drains,
Receiver of their prayers and offerings.
Tires of the gifts washed down the streets,
From the city of the rats.

A goddess, prisoner of the rats,
Down in the belly of Cloaca Maxima.
Like the bud of a tossed away cigarette,
They’ve opened a forest fire.

This is how it ends,
Drowned in their own tithes and offerings.
The prisoner of Cloaca Maxima,
Is sending every prayer back to its sender.

Corruption, death and disease,
All flows down in the city of the rats.
When you try to call pest control,
Your blood will fill up the streets,
In the city of the rats.

You are fools, trying to build the ark when the flood has already come.
You never learned how to swim, all you vermin are going to drown.

You are up to your neck,
In your own **** and ****.
Out of all the ways to go,
This had to be it!

You thought you were rid of us,
When you pulled the handle down.
All little things add up over time,
We’re coming back up to drown,
The city of the rats!

Venus rises out of Cloaca Maxima.
Rising out of every sewer.
She’s come to deliver,
Every prayer back to its sender.

Venus pull the handle down,
Flush all this **** away.
The only way to get rid of ****,
Is to flush it all away.

We are coming out of every faucet,
Pipe, plughole, shower-head and toilet!
Swimming in a flooded landscape,
Eyes, nose and mouth just above it.

We’re rising up,
Venus’ rising up,
****’s rising up.
Out of all the ways to go this had to be it,
Drowned in your own **** and ****!
Josiah Bates Sep 2019
Kellen’s Burrito
Filled with raw beef and moldy blue cheese
Tastes like Kobe’s hair
It tastes like fleas

The burrito is tasty
But not in the right way
It’s tasty like burnt toast
From a toaster powered on a subway rail

Nobody knows how it tastes but I
Nobody cares to try
The burrito is very tasty
do you want a bite?
(a joke poem for a friend)
Clay Face Sep 2019
Get beneath your peers
Crawl while in tears.
Drown inundated by consequential shame. Cause you’re the only one to blame.
Your avarice for ****** release isn’t natural.
You’ve conditioned yourself to be this abysmal.
Let your cries resonate, impregnate, and eradicate within you. A morning sickness derived from truth you will succumb to. While this truth grows and evolves within you, it will evacuate your lies behind your truth.

Sullen loneliness withers you, it’s created a monster.
One that pines for intimacy without foster.
Through this eagerness, a dull misunderstanding festers.
One where intimacy is strictly ******.
And it’s enjoyed alone on a phone, ha. How intellectual!
But the primordial need, sets you in greed.
Clear thinking leaves you, and desire is left only true.

However this brief inhuman act of disgusting ****, leaves you in a tut.
With rational thinking back after release. You’re trapped without peace.
Loneliness floods back, and on the attack, charges self reflection, without affection.
You don’t deserve affection. Just affliction.
So you grow ill from your actions.
Don’t stop this introspection. Self disgust is appropriate. So don’t take an ******.

Tenacious pithy feelings will raise your ceilings.
Embrace this self loathing. The shame will strip you of clothing. Now true to yourself and the world, unpolished and furled.
You can act on embellishments, and ignore wants and irrelevance.
Mane Omsy Jun 2019
Some worst neighborhood is this
Lucky people draw no attention
They woooooooooooooooooooo
They rise, and
Woooooooooooooooooooooooo
Kind words to describe my love
Kindness they enchanted in ears
Love for one reason, couldn't be
More suitable to the wooing crowd
They will retain reasons to forge
Death out of lives don't matter at all

Still, they boooooooooooooooo
Blessed are these creatures, dumb
Affectionate and passionate lust
They scream cry and laugh at times
Admire, the boooooooooooooo
To beat the mass in genocide
Life has short hints that hurts more
More than their booing in the light
They die at the very end of dark
Philomena May 2019
I am tired of this body
Tired of stepping on the scale
Tired of watching my figure disappear

I'm sick of this disappointment
Sick of men looking at me like a horse
Sick of feeling never good enough

I hate this feeling
Hate being disgusting
Hate this body
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