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Bhill Sep 2019
As I neared my predetermined destination
The angst and wonderment took over my exhaustion
The climb was currently a very near memory
A memory, that seconds before, was a very physical and emotional demon
A demon that kept telling me ”You can't do this” ”You lack the discipline to go that route”
”Demon be-GONE” I repeated to myself
I can do this...!

Brian Hill - # 229
And I did
Carl D'Souza Jul 2019
When my emotions
are out of my control
and are controlling me,
I seek awareness of my emotions
by expressing my emotions
into a voice diary
using the microphone on my computer:
upon expression
the intense-energy of my emotions
dissipates
and my mind is clearer;
then it is easier
to self-regulate my emotions
or at least
discipline my emotions;
then I am ready
to strive
for joy and happiness.
Carrie Partain Jun 2019
You looked so big to me
That Summer in Oregon
I was only four when we
Followed you into isolation

New Hampshire seemed a world away
All ties to home and family
Shrank and faded in the rear view
Hoping new & different...would be

I left my doll outside that day
Then lied to keep my fault a secret
Your belt, that slipping sound
I still hear to this day

Spare the rod and spoil the child
Was popular back then
Americans had a right to raise up
God fearing children with discipline

The problem is you got it wrong
God disciplines, it's true
But love's the stronger, key component
One you rarely demonstrated

If truth had been a better choice
My shame exposed, as was my skin
Would I have escaped your wrath
And be now somehow changed?

She made the choice to live with you
Sadly it was a package deal
One for which I've paid the price
A remarkable value nonetheless...

My children never heard the sound
Of leather belt and buckle strap
Spare the child and spoil the rod
Have been my choice instead
A continuation of my earliest childhood experiences.  My mother dealt with mental and emotional abuse from my stepfather, who had adopted me when he married her.  To her it meant security.  For me it began many years of physical abuse as well as the mental and emotional scars.  Sadly, she left him many times, only to return.  I began running away at the age of six and left home by age 14.  Unfortunately she is still with him today.  He is still mentally and verbally abusive to her.  He suffered a stroke and now she feels duty bound to take care of him.  I am an only child and I am disabled and can't do much to help get her out of there.  So this forum is my only outlet.  Please pardon my drama.
Marla Jun 2019
formalities were always a must,
you'd have to be crazy to forget your manners.
Shoes off, Gi on, Belt ready;
forget that and the push ups would **** you.
As soon as anyone crossed that threshold,
their mind, body, and spirit tuned into an ancient frequency.
We were raw potential energy encased in flesh,
the trespasses we'd endured throughout the week
our sole source of fuel.

Sifu would shout, We would listen.
Our partners would punch us
And we'd block; no thought required.
With every belt, we moved up in the art;
Educated furthermore in climbing ladders.
That was the first time I had ever been disciplined
And not solely abused,
My first real encounter with tough love.

After those classes, I guess I felt safer around my parents,
But that didn't make them good people.
I almost had to fight them once,
Yet I couldn't bring myself to defend the dignity
Already taken from me.

Maybe I should have let my instincts and not my sense
Guide my hand that night,
Maybe then I'd be a hero to myself as well as everyone's villain.
TheSaneSaloon May 2019
They are thieves, and yet they walk in
"No forced entry."  has been the told tale
"Oh, home sweet home." sighs the owner.
A stranger in his home, but his home all the same
He knows every cranny
He'll sit and watch them raid the cupboards,
they leave when full...Broken bottles, Cigarettes strewed

He was made for a 100 miles.
Born for The Chase
Gathering arms, declaring the hunt

All day I run with no end in sight
My gaze has weakened
So again I rise, and lift my head to stare down the horizon
I will run a 100 miles and even more,
Until exhaustion grips my foes, bringing them to the dirt
I tower over what once dominated,
And looking down
I see them...

Clawing at my feet for mercy.
Choking between sobs, they curse me.

Snot bubbles form, laced with dust.
Terror takes its grip.
They beg me, "lets us go, you must!"

Our eyes meet, and silence takes reign.
I stretch out my hand, wink, and say thanks for the pain.
About inner demons.

I think its appropriate to disclaim that I posted this last year for a brief time to only make it private. However, its been changed, so I want to share once more. Its hard letting it go, I wanted to hold onto it until it was "perfect"
Dipesh Apr 2019
I try, to treat you the same,
As I treat the other traits,
I try, to treat you the same,
Laziness and boredom are to be blamed.

Without you, I'll be put to shame,
My life will be spent in disdain,
I try, to treat you the same,
As I treat the other traits.
Discipline.
habiba Mar 2019
The Wisdom of the slave Philosopher;
It's not that you don't want it,
It's that you don't need it.
You shall carry no burden.
Watch them fall.
Martin Narrod Feb 2019
A CONFUSING DAY FOR CUCUMBER FISH

I’m not being able to escape this, in parts, either on the slip where the drifters weigh themselves against daily chores, or to the perch, where against the millions of suns striking into the cabinets where devoted criminal ****** *** offenders aid and abet their children:

flying kites, tossing bread crumbs to water fowl, playing tag, hide and go seek, or

Cooking food, drinking cold alcoholic beverage, and listening as a friend with a guitar sings about the child born in the mountains as a man, only to find the world as a legend.

Still there is no escape. There is only the peril of night stretching 99% of our brains across the tepid sky, only to wait for the light of those suns to fade, and then only have to worry about the dross and muck on every fingerprint of every man from this place or the next. These are fingerprints that ooze the familiar green devil whose face familiar ages our futures before they can even happen. Then we succumb to the bitterness of these years on the perch, the stoop, the step, wandering around the chollas in nothing but a pair of aquamarine boy’s briefs. This is not insanity. This is the product of insanity. This is not losing, this is the product of living under a government that has been taking what it could not afford, and who trades in what hurts rather than helps what ails rather than aids.

This is the ratcheting heard inside the bruised and frail hearts of many. The pain inside their backs and legs and arms and heads is real. It smells real. It sounds real. It feels real, but no one here has ever known what it is that is happening, therefore they do not understand the great costs being played with when these oozing poison-stricken fingertips start playing at the game of life, or they start playing at the game of their neighbor’s life. There is an outcome of sunset still yet to be seen, and that is the inescapability and uncertainty of millions of children being born today, tomorrow, and hereafter. The children tomorrow should not have to worry about washing someone’s fingerprints off of the skin they have yet to be born inside. Stretching across the dusty and quiet streets, if this Wild West is closing its wildness out and isn’t doing anything but wandering west, there isn’t a committee of sanity that will prevail. Especially as we choke through the gravely heavy metals meddling with the untold stories of tomorrow’s sons and daughters.
julianna Nov 2018
It’s difficult to enforce
Discipline
Whenever you feel like it.
You need to enforce it
All the time,
Because if not,
There’s rough times ahead.
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