No more aces up my sleeve

I've ran out magic tricks to play with you

I'm tired.

So watch me disappear

No smoke and mirrors here

The internet slows
Then stops
Before I can find
The answers.

I reload the page.
Watch the words disappear.

And with it,
Everything I was searching for.

I want to be an enigma
I want the words to fall out of my head
And into your hand
Or maybe into nothingness,
That would be better
I’m begging to feel nothing
And I’m dying to feel something
Just let me disappear, God
Let me fade away
For Forever
~

the cloud escapes me
when i am far, it floats further away
when i am close, it is lost forever
what we see, then, is it true?

i try to find you
but you are far, and further
now you are closer, disappearing
soon, you are gone; you were never here

I'm nothing but an scarred face
No brain, no feelings
Just a hopeless train wreck of a case
At least that's what you all see in me
I find it hard to ignore what people really think about me
I'm just afraid of what I'll turn into and be
With all these thoughts and ideas running through my head
Some days deep inside I feel like I should be dead
Other days I wish everyone would just disappear
Then I'll really know what it's like to be alone
Soon I'll be wishing for everyone to slowly reappear
Right in front of my eyes so I won't be forever alone
I’m over everything and everyone
Life is a giant Manipulation game
Walking around hurting people and escaping the blame
People hurt each other and I'm fed up
Im over it, I'm on the verge of ******* giving up
There's to many people walking around with fake masks on
I'm scared of taking mine off Showing what's really happening deep down
I'm scared of what people will think of me
If everyone finally got to meet the real me

One word
Is all
I need
From you.
One word,
Then I
Will go,
Will disappear,
And that
I promise

how unlucky
Some people's cells are made of life
but they're not blessed to live
And some of us,
are forced to talk and smile
and shine and walk
and appear
-I want to disappear-
and dance and pretend
and again
and again
and-

All we want to do is fly
or die
It's pretty much the same thing
How unfair